For Now
by EzriandLucian
Summary: "You're gone for now, but not for good." Aria Montgomery and Ezra Fitz have been broken up for three months, and as both continue their lives without one another, each feels a heavy loss as they reminisce over their love and the crushing heartbreak of their three year relationship ending. Soon enough though, fate brings them together again and gives them a chance at a new start.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day. ****  
**

_"You are gone, not for good but for now."_

Aria Montgomery found herself barely living, just seeming to barely get by. She drifted along during the days, going through the motions but never really thinking much beyond her daily routines. At night though, it was quite the opposite: she found herself being unable to find sleep due to the thoughts she could never seem to put to rest when the time came. The days were filled with mindless activities that preoccupied her, but when she lied down, her thoughts fought to be heard and they left her feeling uneasy. Her memories thrusted her into times she would rather forget, ones that she wished to erase and burn from her brain, but it wasn't that easy: their story was etched in her brain, the sadness of its ending leaving her desperate. At rare moments though, when she looked beyond the hate that clouded her thoughts and judgment, she found herself frolicking in the happiness of what she once had with a man named Ezra Fitz.

Aria had been lying in bed, restless for hours. It was yet another sleepless night as the clock read 5:03 AM. How she had managed toss and turn and preoccupy her mind for hours on end puzzled her. She had never done so much thinking in her life as she had done the past three months and her head hurt from constantly reflecting on a love that no longer existed no matter how much she wished for it to come back.

That night, she finally made herself lie down at 1 AM, figuring that she should at least try to get some sleep, but her mind had other things in mind: reflecting on moments she had shared with Ezra. This was how every night had gone since the last time she saw Ezra. If she did happen to drift off, she found herself somewhere between sleep and reality, hoping to wake and find her reality matching the sweet dreams that lingered way after she'd woke.

She had finally been able to settle down her thoughts enough to doze off, hoping to finally find the rest she clearly needed.

_"Ezra," she said, a smile forming across her face. _

_"Hmm?" Ezra was glued to his work, his eyebrows furrowed and frustration written on his face. He had been this way for the past two hours as Aria read The Bell Jar sprawled out on the couch, but when she finally requested his attention, he couldn't help but pull himself away from his demanding work load and turn towards the brown-eyed beauty. "What, babe?" _

_"How are you doing over there?" She put her book down and swung her legs over the side of couch, pushing herself up and walking over to Ezra. She rubbed his shoulders for a few moments then draped her arms over his shoulders and leaned down, kissing the right side of his face. _

_"Maybe you should step away for a while and we can relax together," she said inbetween the pecks she laid on his cheek. _

_He turned around and looked up at her, smiling. He then stood up and grabbed both sides of her face with his hands, leaning in to leave his mark on her lips. He smiled as he kissed her and mumbled through their kisses, "I like this." _

Aria woke, still in a trance from her dream, slowly pulling herself out of the grip it held on her as her alarm continued to beep loudly and read 6:00 AM. She loved when her memories visited her again in her dreams, but when trying to forget about Ezra, she didn't appreciate these moments making their appearances. Yes, she was still in love. No, she didn't want to force these memories away and let go of what her and Ezra had had. But she needed to move on from him and the idea of being "Mrs. Aria Fitz" someday. Even after three months apart, everything still hurt as much as it did the moment she walked out of apartment 3B, leaving Ezra and everything they had worked for behind.

She let out a long, pained sigh and began to stretch as her day met its first task: getting ready.

After she had pried herself out of bed, she made her way into the kitchen, to the cupboards that held her glasses. She laid her hand on the wine glass, hesitating, then moving it to the coffee cup. She put her arm down, sighing.

She was twenty-one, so why should she feel guilty about a small glass of wine? _Maybe it's because it's only six in the morning and one glass hasn't been enough lately. Maybe it's because I never had any desire to drink, especially during the morning hours, until lately, when thoughts of him took away any strength I thought I had to start the day without it_, she thought to herself. Her rationality tried to fight back her need for something strong to wash away any thoughts of Ezra. _Oh, what the hell?_ she thought and pulled the wine glass down.

She made her way into her closet, glass of wine in hand, and looked around. This was yet another difficult task to begin her day with because it felt like there was a moment with Ezra associated with every piece in her closet. _When I met Ezra's parents. Our first anniversary. That one night out._ She needed to get rid of these pieces, but found herself holding on to the point that she couldn't make herself let go.

She released a long, drawn-out sigh and took another sip of her wine. This was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day. **

_"We fell in love for a reason, now you're leaving  
__And I just want you back  
__So many things we believed in  
__Now you're leaving and words won't bring you back."_

Aria Montgomery looked at the clock, her frustration evident in the way her eyebrows were furrowed. 7:55 AM. _Five minutes to get to work,_ she thought to herself as traffic crawled. Normally she would be the image of road rage, but today her frustration was only mild compared to what it could have been. _Thank God for the wine_.

English-obsessed and a free-spirit, Aria found herself working in Rosewood's bookstore. Even though it reminded her of days she'd spent with Ezra, looking for books and enjoying the company of one another, it was still a place she wanted to be. The bookstore had been a favorite place of hers ever since she had discovered her love of literature at a young age and even though Ezra infiltrated that piece of her too (as with just about every other part of her life), she still enjoyed her work and savored the four hours she spent before heading off to English classes at Rosewood's Hollis College.

Though she would never admit it to anyone, if she looked long enough past the bittersweet memories of long days spent searching for books and talking literature with Ezra, she saw herself happy between the aisles with Ezra's hand in hers, smiling wide and hopelessly in love. Although these moments were painful to remember after her rough heartbreak, she was sometimes able to find warmth swelling inside of her.

She pulled in parallel to the sidewalk and hopped out, slamming the door behind her and rushing into the bookstore. It was 8:03 AM and she'd made decent timing, considering that all of Rosewood's senior citizens seemed to be out today, moseying around with no place to be.

"Hey Waltz," she said as she walked in and made her way past the older gentlemen standing behind the cash register who was reading a book. She found her way to the back room to hang up her coat and purse.

"Three minutes late, Montgomery. You wouldn't make it to your own funeral on time. I'm sure of it." He smirked, not glancing up from his reading.

"Oh, Waltz," she said, making her way back up the front. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pecked his cheek, "Why do you have so much doubt in me? Besides, traffic was awful. Your generation should either speed up or get off the road," she said as she let go of him and walked off to start organizing a section of books.

He smiled at her and watched her carefully. Aria Montgomery's personality had always been a reminder of what the youth had going for them. He sighed and asked the question Aria felt might be coming at any moment, "How're you holding up? You haven't seemed yourself la-"

She cut him off, now wanting to hear the rest of it. She looked up at the ceiling and pushed her lips together, hoping that it could keep her from crying. "Good, fine," she said, resuming her work when she felt she had her emotions under control.

Waltz hesitated before he said, "He came in last night, bought a book and…" He paused. "…asked how you were."

Aria glanced over in his direction and worked up a wry smile. "T-That was nice of him," she said. "And, um, what did you say?" Waltz looked up. "How-how am I?" she stuttered.

"I told it like it is: you're a mess. And don't you dare try to deny it, Montgomery," he said as he saw her mouth open, in an attempt to defend herself. "But I also gave that boy a good talkin' to, breakin' your heart like that. I wanted to kick his ass outta here the minute I saw him," Waltz finished.

Aria couldn't help but grin at Waltz's blunt way of speaking and the attitude he possessed. "You're a good man, Waltz," she said, smiling shyly at him. "I appreciate that."

/

Ezra's phone went off as he sat down for a night in, with plans to watch an old movie. As he sat down, he looked to his left, where Aria would have been months before. She was always right there, cuddling his side and fighting sleep as they watched old films. He starred at where she would have been tonight, should have been tonight: right beside him.

His phone beeped suddenly, signaling a text and bringing his attention away from his thoughts of Aria. It read:

_Hey man! I'm back in town visiting my parents for a couple days. Let's get out for a while and catch up. A beer and an old friend sound good?_

Hardy. A beer and an old friend did sound good right about now. Anything to keep himself from missing Aria.

At approximately 9:30 PM, Ezra walked into the pub (luckily not the one he'd met Aria at-Hardy was smarter than that). He saw Hardy sitting at the bar, with a seat reserved beside him.

"Hardy!" Ezra yelled, walking up to him and pulling him into a hug as Hardy stood to greet him.

"Hey Ezra! You're looking pretty good, all things considered," Hardy said, patting him on the back. He sat down on the barstool and pointed to the empty seat beside him. "Sit down, I need a friend and I'm sure you do too."

An hour later, Ezra was sputtering out things about Aria. Alcohol seemed to be the gateway to his emotions and he spoke to Hardy about needing to be over Aria (which he was so clearly not) and needing to move on.

"Ezra, I don't really know what to say except for," Hardy paused, examining his friend and if he could take it. "Dude, wake up! You're sure as hell not getting over Aria any time soon and I highly doubt she'll be moving on from you in the near future."

Ezra looked at him. "It has to be this way." He then looked down, swallowing what he just said.

"Oh please! Don't be such a little bitch! You've fought for that girl for three years, what's making you stop now? Since when does Ezra Fitz give up on what he wants? I didn't realize you became a pussy while I was gone."

Ezra looked at him, his mouth open but unable to find words.

"It doesn't have to be this way. It's been three months and you haven't gained any ground in the 'getting over her' department, so obviously, this isn't how it's really meant to be. You two were meant to be. It's obvious by the way you're still mopping around three months later. Shit, Ezra." Hardy sighed. "I just want you to be happy and I want you to realize that maybe you can't achieve that without her."

Ezra wanted to fight back, say that what Hardy was saying wasn't true, but Hardy was always right: his claims of Ezra still loving Aria were true.

/

Aria poured herself another glass of wine. It was her fifth that day and she didn't really plan to stop._ I need a good man. One that doesn't doubt our future or our chance at being together. A real man. That's what I need._ She took a long sip of her wine, one that ended up with downing half of the newly poured glass. _Damn Ezra. _

She sat down in front of the television, just barely paying attention. Instead, her mind was beginning to drift somewhere else.

_"Ezra!" she said, flustered and angry. "Wh-what are you saying? Where is this coming from?" _

_"I don't want to waste my time, or yours. I've just realized that you and I are in two different points in our life. I'm a 26-year-old high school English teacher and you're still just a college student. I need to get out of the mindset that 'this,'" he motioned his arms between Aria and him, "will work."_

_"So we're over?! Just like that?!" Aria raised her voice, fighting to be heard and holding back tears. "After three years, we're done?!" She sat down on his brown leather couch, elbows resting on her knees and her head against her palms. She tried her best to fight back tears, but they were coming…fast. She looked up at him, searching for a sign in his eyes to tell her something. What had happened to what they had so carefully built together? _

_"Look," he said, sighing and pausing for a moment. "I want you to be happy and-"_

_Aria cut him of and began softly shaking her head, assuring him, "The only way I'm happy is if I'm with you."_

_Ezra went into his kitchen, pressing his palms against the edge of his countertop. "I just think it's best if this ended. Please just," he paused for a moment, then softy said, "just go."_

_Aria looked up at him, fighting back tears as she replied, "Gladly." She grabbed her stuff and took the keys he had made to his apartment from her bag, throwing them on his counter. "I guess I won't be needing these." She looked down, just standing there for a moment before glancing back up at him and saying, "Goodbye Ezra." She walked towards the door that led to the exit of apartment 3B and, no matter how bad she wanted to, didn't look back._

**Let me know your thoughts on this chapter, please :) It's significantly longer so I hope you enjoyed. Like I said, as long as I have readers, I'll be here, writing away! **

**I appreciate the follows and faves from some of you guys already! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! **


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

_"When I tell you that I miss you, it doesn't mean I'll never get over you. It just means I wish I didn't have to."_

Ezra had done a lot of thinking in the past days. Most of his thoughts had led him to the questions that were on his mind from the beginning: why he had let go so easily and allow his fear of something wonderful ending lead him to exactly what he was afraid of: him and Aria being done with the love story they themselves had written in three years and having the ending come sooner than it was supposed to. It was like they were just getting started, planning a real future together and talking beyond the next week.

Hardy's admiration for Aria and the way she completely charmed Ezra and everyone she met led him to convince both Ezra's drunken and sober minds to reconsider his unpredictable and quite frankly, dumb, breakup with Aria.

Ezra pulled himself out of bed, the sun blinding him as it came in just right through the slits in the blinds. He gravitated towards the coffee maker and made himself his morning drink. It was a Monday morning and it would take abundance of caffeine to keep him from losing his mind.

/

Aria had finally gotten four hours of sleep in, which was a new record for her, considering the amount of restless nights she'd had during the past month. She laid in bed for a while, trying to decide when she could find the courage to get out of bed and face the day.

She made her way out to the kitchen, where she found herself in front of the cupboard that held the wine glasses, with her bottle of rich red wine in one hand. She sighed. _This needs to stop._ But as she began to reach for a coffee cup, she quickly moved her hand over to the wine glass, grabbing it and pouring herself a tall glass of wine. Her impulses to drink were getting worse but she reassured herself, _I'll stop tomorrow._

It was a Monday morning and she needed wine to keep her from falling into the depths of her sadness.

/

Ezra readied himself for the day that lay ahead: teaching high schoolers how powerful literature could be could be was a daunting task. Opening their minds and having them examine and find something much deeper in a piece than what their absent mind would find otherwise was like trying to pry open something that wasn't meant to be tampered with. It was a daunting task to him, and though he had been working in English education for the past four years, he found a new challenge in everyday as he tried to engage his students in literature they had no interest in.

Ezra went into his closet and picked out what he was going to wear that day. He began buttoning up his shirt after he'd put on his pants, realizing that his clothing wasn't fitting like it used to._ I suppose my diet has been nonexistent,_ he thought to himself as he finished buttoning up his shirt.

He made his way over to his tie collection, sighing. With Aria out of his life, he had no real taste or sense of who he was. She'd always picked out his tie each morning and every time he went to put on his own, he was reminded of her always coming over on cue to do it for him. He fumbled with his tie and it took him several minutes (much longer than it would have Aria) to tie it and he eventually had to settle with his imperfect knot.

He paused, allowing a realization to come to him: After she'd left that night and he realized what it truly meant, life seemed to stop for an instant and it hadn't been the same since. He made the choice, yes, but it had been out of fear and irrationality and he regretted it more than anything else.

Her leaving went beyond his clothing not matching as well as it had before or his ties being correctly knotted. He looked around his apartment and realized how truly empty it felt. He hadn't let himself feel this way and avoided thinking about what it would be like if Aria was still here. Her feminine touch was still there in some ways when he scanned his apartment; she had left her mark there (as he thought this, he smirked, turning to glance at the bed) and he didn't know how to remove it (not that he really wanted to anyways). She'd managed to leave her presence just about everywhere in his life.

He grabbed himself another cup of coffee and sipped on it while scanning the newspaper from the day before and trying to avoid any thoughts of Aria.

/

Aria wasn't on the schedule to work today, so schoolwork was her primary goal to get through. Lately though, her English classes hadn't come as easy to her and her analysis of pieces were blank, just like her mind. It was like she had nothing left, no deep thoughts or meaning and her English professors were beginning to notice as her grades began to drop. She prayed she could make it through the rest of the semester and then figure out where she wanted to go from there.

Tears swept down her cheeks as she made her way to living room, books and work in one hand, and a glass of wine in the other.

It wasn't just English: it was the easiest thing in her life and it wasn't even clicking anymore. What more did she have to lose? What more did Ezra Fitz have to take away?

Anger was growing inside of her, threatening to boil over into a dangerous fury fueled by hatred and desire. _I hate the one I need,_ she cried out. _How fucked up am I? _ She screamed, demanding an answer that would never come. _What has happened to me?_ she whispered. Heavy sobs shook her whole body, releasing the overwhelming sadness she could no longer control. Her cries were loud: she wanted to be heard. Her breath grew short and she was left gasping for breath through her weeps. Her frustration and rage is what began this, but now her depression was taking over.

She grabbed for her wine. She would need more than one glass to wash away how she was feeling.

/

"Today we'll be starting To Kill A Mockingbird," Ezra Fitz said to his students as he began handing papers to the first person in each row. "This is a famous book in American Literature and you can bet nearly everyone you know has made some contact with this story in their lifetime. It explores popular themes and does it well, which is what your project will explore when the time comes," he paused. "I know you're all in high school and you don't think much of the pieces I give you, but they do have deeper meaning than what you would assume at first and I want you guys to find it. You are fully capable and I've given you the skills you need, now use them to your best ability."

Ezra headed towards his desk. "Your task for today is simple: read the first three chapters and fill out the worksheet I handed out earlier."

The students seemed to sigh in unison, and at this, Ezra frowned and responded sarcastically, "I know guys, it might kill you but you can at least say that you died trying," he chuckled. "Look, get through the rest of this English class, pass it, and move on with your life. It's your choice what you take from it but you'll appreciate it if you can find something meaning in literature. It opens up a new world."

He sat back in his chair, sighing and eventually bringing his weight back to the front of the chair, from which he leaned onto the desk from.

His mind had nowhere to go but to Aria. His thoughts quickly became preoccupied by the special kind of love he had shared with Aria and he sat reminiscing over the three years of bliss they'd had together. He was sure she was the one, even now.

_"Aria, I'd like you to meet Ezra Fitz," Spencer said as she walked up with her friend's arm linked to hers, intending to introduce her friend to the person she saw as the perfect companion for her._

_"And Ezra, I'd love for you to meet my beautiful friend, Miss Aria Montgomery," she finished, grinning at Aria and nudging her a little. _

_"Hi," Aria said sheepishly, working up a wry smile._

_"Hello Aria," he managed to say as he admired her flowing wavy hair that cascaded slightly past her shoulders. Her eyes were a rich, chocolate brown with hints of green flecks. Her smile was contagious and her eyebrows emphasized her facial expressions and framed her face perfectly. _

_He found himself thinking that Aria could be someone to hold onto, so he grabbed on tight and hadn't let go until that fateful and deciding day._

**TADA! There's Chapter 3 for ya :) I appreciate you guys reading and responding to my story because, as a writer, that's the best thing I could ask for! You seem to be enjoying now, but wait until they get back together…it's coming soon! Sooner than you may think ;) **

**My life is so upside down right now so this is kind of my escape. I hadn't written for myself in easily a year and a half so doing something that means this much to me and a way of getting out of my current state of mind is ****_so nice_****. In addition, you guys support what I'm doing, which is just a nice little bonus! I'm so glad that you guys are enjoying this though because it's something that for myself that I also get sweet feedback from and sometimes I need that reassurance when I'm having a not-so-good day! **

**So thank you from the bottom of my heart! I love my readers and the people who give me feedback (by the way, I take criticism if you have anything you think I could improve on!) and encourage my writing. Words cannot express how appreciative I am for you all.**

**XOXO**

**P.S. I'm super excited for PLL, even though Jake is making an appearance (uh, can we just say ew ew ew ew EWWWW). With each episode, I'm just counting down to Ezria getting back. I'm not even sorry.**


	4. Chapter 4

******DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day. **

**And before we continue on, I just wanted to make a few things clear because there was some confusion and I should have made it clearer from the beginning, so this is for those of you who are confused by the story and don't know what are flashbacks, what are thoughts, etc.**

**If a small sentence/fragment is italicized, it is a thought belonging to the identified character. It comes directly from their thoughts. **

**Flashbacks are also italicized, but they are actually in longer sections of writing. Example: Present, **_**flashback**_**, back to present **

**Switching the focus from one character to another will be shown by using some sort of symbol as a transition so you know when there are shifts in the which characters' feelings or actions are being focused on at that point in the story. Sometimes Fanfiction doesn't allow these symbols to save in my story though so if they aren't showing up, let me know because what's showing up for my account may not be showing up to the public eye. **

**Sorry for any confusion and make sure to let me know if you have any other questions about the storyline or how my pieces are set up! I'd be more than willing to help! :)**

_"'Well, look who I ran into,' crowed Coincidence. 'Please,' flirted Fate. 'This was meant to be.'"_

Aria decided a break from her schoolwork was what she needed to clear her head. Maybe it would be a long time until she felt better and maybe she would never feel completely okay again, but she knew that if she had any chance at all at a new beginning and the opportunity to feel something other than unrelenting sadness, she needed to get out of the apartment for a while before her feelings caved in on her once more.

Once out of her apartment and able to free herself from the depressing thoughts that kept her hauled up inside it, she was able to enjoy the small walk to the bakery. It was around noon and she figured something in her stomach would do her well. She'd been living off of wine for what felt like the longest time and wanted something with substance.

Suddenly her phone went off without warning and an email alert appeared on her screen. She opened it to find a message from Spencer:

How are you doing? I know I haven't been able to talk to you but this internship in London is killing me! Luckily my homecoming is only a week away and then I'll be by your side like a best friend should. I really hope you're holding up well and getting through this. I know it's hard, but I'm here. You haven't been talking to me and I just want you to know that you don't have to shut me out because, well to be quite frank, I'll bust down every door you put up. Reply whenever you get the chance so I know you're alive and well. Toby misses you too and told me to tell you he's thinking of you through this tough time. We love you.

She sighed. Spencer Hastings: best friend, biggest supporter, and thousands of miles away. There was always Hanna and Emily of course, but Hanna was in New York City for the next month on another internship with another fashion company and Emily had left Rosewood long ago to broaden her horizons.

She continued to the bakery and as she neared it, her senses detected the mouth-watering smells coming from inside.

/

"Hey Fitz," said Miss Galloway, popping her head into his classroom.

Ezra smiled, putting down his chalk and rubbing his hands together to dispose of any chalk residue left on them. "Hey, how's the student teaching going? Are you enjoying it enough to considering doing it for the rest of your life?" he asked as he slid his hands into the pockets of his pants.

"I'm getting there, slowly but surely," she said, smiling as she nodded. She paused, hesitating before asking her question: "Do you think you would want to go grab lunch together? I mean, just as co-workers. Mrs. Well can't go today because she has some students taking tests during lunch and I really don't feel like going alone, it'd remind me too much of my high school days," she said, grinning. She paused again before following up with, "So what do you say, Fitz?"

He cleared his throat and looked down at his pants for a moment, clearing his throat and looking up. "Why not?"

They made their way out to Ezra's car, climbing in to travel off campus for lunch.

She interrupted the silence that quickly ensued as they began driving. "What do you think if we went to the local bakery? I mean, ever since being here in Rosewood for a while, it's basically all I can stand to eat on a regular basis."

Ezra nodded at her request. "Sounds good. I haven't been there in a while."

/

Aria walked into the bakery, the aroma comforting her after a mostly wine diet as of lately. She made her way to the back of the line, which snaked to only a few feet in front of the entrance. The line crept up and Aria's hunger was causing her stomach to growl, making her realize that she really had not eaten much in the past weeks. She realized how weak she felt and thought about the weight she must have lost, as nothing fit her quite like it had before. _Just another symptom of a broken heart caused by Ezra Fitz,_ she thought to herself, rolling her eyes.

Though she was sure of what she wanted, she found her eyes intently scanning the menu, searching for anything with wine in the name or description. She snapped out of it as she realized what she was doing, thinking _Am I seriously this fucked? _

She looked around her, feeling oddly unlike herself. Her desperateness had led her to a fierce and unquenchable thirst for alcohol and now she was unknowingly searching for a drink, her mind racing. She tapped her foot, growing impatient and anxious. She watched people and wondered if what they saw was different from previous times. Had her drinking begun to shown? Had her weight loss become obvious? Had the overwhelming unhappiness she felt been easy to detect? And did they know she was suffering from a broken heart? These questions only made her anxiety go up, resulting in her palms beginning to sweat and her color to drain from her face. _Breathe, Aria. Breathe._

Finally, she had gotten to the cashier to take her order and as she finished, the young girl said, "Have a nice day!"

It was simple gesture, wishing someone to have a pleasant rest of their day, but Aria read into further into it. Was it possible for her to have another good day? She felt helpless anymore and had wondered when she would begin to feel like her old self again. It scared her to think that she wouldn't ever find the happiness she thought she'd never lose.

Aria forced a wry smile across her face and nodded slightly in an attempt to make the feeling mutual.

But as she turned around and headed to the area behind the line to wait for her order, she caught sight of a familiar figure. The small glimpse she had gotten of his silhouette matched one that she knew so well. She slowly turned her head in his direction, realizing who it was.

5'11. Chocolate brown curls remained throughout his well-styled hair. Magnetic eyes that were as blue as the ocean. She knew who he was all too well; she had memorized him in every way possible. "Ezra," she whispered, almost whimpering.

As she was admiring (and mentally strangling) him, she began to see his head turn in her direction. With this, she snapped her head in the other direction to avoid being recognized.

"101!" the cook yelled and placed the bag of fresh-baked food on the countertop. She sighed in relief and began walking fast in the direction he had called from, quickly turning on her heels.

But just as she began to turn, she heard his voice from not far behind. "Aria?" he paused and said it a little louder, "Aria?" He began to call out her name one last time but didn't finish because she'd turned herself around to face Ezra.

Though ten feet away, they only caught sight of each other and for the first time in three months, allowed themselves a moment to look at one another and how they had seemed to handle the past three months of heartache.

But all at once, this moment was gone as Aria turned to get her food and quickly came in the direction of the entrance, right near Ezra. _Walk fast. Don't look at him. Keep your distance._ She repeated these things in her head over and over again, a constant reminder to ignore the lover Ezra had once been to her. She tried desperately to make herself invisible but she wasn't a superhero.

"Aria," Ezra said softly, grabbing her arm gently as she tried to rush past him. He turned her to face him.

**TADA! Another chapter for you all :) **

**I so appreciate your guys' feedback and I love my readers! You guys have been amazing to me and I appreciate you reading my stories. I want you to enjoy them and I'm happy to improve on anything you guys think would make my stories (yes, plural because more are coming soon!) better! After all, you guys are the ones reading them and I want to please my lovely readers! **

**Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your comments, love, and support! I can't thank you enough or express how appreciative I am for you guys reaching out to me just to tell me you like my writing! I'm extremely floored and flattered by your sweet responses! :) **

**I LOVE YOU GUYS xx**

**P.S. Chapter 5 is already written and I've started Chapter 6, so those should be up relatively shortly. I just want to space out how often I post and not be updating too much, ya feel me?**

**Maybe we could say 10 reviews before the next one? Just an idea… And then it can be spaced out according to the way you guys respond! :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day. **

_"While I was holding on, you were letting go."_

She barely looked at him, unable to find words to fill the worsening silence or the gap between them.

"Aria, please say something," Ezra pleaded with her, hoping there was a chance at mending what was so carelessly broken. He held his breath, praying she would say something to ease his need.

After a few moments, she lifted her eyes from their fixed position on the ground in front of them to meet his gaze. "E-Ezra, I-I can't," she replied.

Salty tears began to form, quickly causing her brown eyes to become watery and her vision to become blurred. The inner rims and whites of her swollen and tearful eyes had become a shade of pink. Her mouth tried to form words that wouldn't come and she was left speechless because no words could express what she was feeling at that moment.

As Aria continued examining Ezra for a few extra moments, she noticed the beautiful blonde standing next to him, watching them with a confused and startled look on her face.

"Horrifying, huh?" Aria turned to face the girl as the young lady looked towards Aria in an unsure manner. "This is what heartbreak does to you, but they don't tell about it. Only the lucky ones get to experience true love and it sure is a tragedy when it ends because the so called 'lucky ones' don't end up being so lucky in the end after all. If anything, their ability and desire to love leads to their own demise." Aria paused, realizing she probably wasn't making much sense and she decided to make it similar. "The point is: don't fall in love because it will hurt and you won't find yourself laughing, smiling, thinking, caring, loving or just simply being in the ways you were before."

Aria was attempting to discretely speak to Ezra through her warning to the young girl and all of them were very much aware. To minimize the situation, Ezra began to clear his throat in an attempt to say something that might ease the tension.

At this time, the young girl extended her arm forward as an awkward but gentle gesture. "I'm Rebecca Galloway," she said in a soft but confident voice.

Aria nodded as a way of acknowledging her. "Aria," she said in an attempt to introduce herself. She paused before starting her next sentence.

"Well," she waited for a moment before continuing, looking down and fiddling with her fingers. "I should get going." She forced a quick smile for Rebecca and then looked back at Ezra, wishing she could say everything but knowing there wasn't enough time and they weren't in the right place. "Bye," Aria forced another smile and gripped the long strap on her bag with her free hand. _Only a few more feet until the exit_, Aria told herself as reassurance that she would soon be away from the awkward situation.

As she walked out the bakery door, the cool breeze hit her, tenderly sweeping across her face. A warm hand grabbed her arm in a gentle manner and turned her around. Again she was in front of Ezra.

She rolled her eyes, realizing who stood in front of her, and scoffed heavily, looking in any direction but his. "What do you want, Ezra?"

He paused, before collecting the right words. "Aria, how have you been?"

Aria looked straight at him this time. "How do you_ think_ I've been?"

Ezra looked down, swallowing her response.

At this, Aria snapped, trying to keep her voice low and controlled, "Why would you even ask that? You very well know the answer. Damnit, Ezra." She seethed with anger. "These past three months have been hell. I've been asking myself what I did that made you turn your back on me and I still haven't found that answer." She paused, shaking her head and trying to keep her emotions in check before they overtook her. "And I don't know why I'm still searching for it because you've already moved on."

At this, his eyes lifted to meet hers. "What? Moved on? With who?" He then realized that he'd arrived with Miss Galloway and his head whipped around to see where she was: still inside, holding their place in line with a reassuring and comforting look on her face. He turned back around to face Aria. "That girl is a co-worker of mine."

Aria snorted, replying, "Yeah, I co-worker who obvious wants 'the D.'"

Ezra shook his head profusely. "That's not what I'm after. She and I are just friends. I don't think I could ever move on from you."

Aria's eyes grew wide at the unexpected revelation: Ezra wasn't over her. Inside she was smiling, but the hurt still masked the growing excitement. "No, Ezra! You can't just pull me back in with your boy charms after how you've left me the past three months. Do you realize what you did to me? I felt _worthless_, questioned what I'd done, why I didn't deserve you suddenly. Three years you threw away because of your own damn insecurities. Y-You broke me, twisted me, turned me every which way and you have the audacity to ask me _how I've been_? My life has stood still while yours has gone on just fine. Leave a broken girl to mend herself, is that how we do it now?"

These words were a blow to Ezra and his normally very-well controlled anger began to boil over at Aria's accusation that he hadn't cared or been affected by this. "Are you kidding me? I lost myself when I lost you. Yes, it was my own selfishness that led me to end what we have," he caught himself, clearing his throat, and quickly changed his word to "had." He continued on, attempting to try and ease some of Aria's anxiety and suspicions that he hadn't cared. "That doesn't mean I haven't regretted what I did and what I put you through since the moment you walked out."

Aria shook her head and rolled her eyes. "That was exactly what you wanted and I gave it to you, but I am _trying_," she paused, attempting to collect her emotions, but it was no use as tears filled her eyes. "To _move on._ You made it clear that that was what you wanted and I am _trying _to give that to you_, _so just_ let me._"

Ezra shook his head in disagreement with her. "Maybe we should think about this. If you haven't moved on and neither have I, maybe we aren't meant to move on from each other." The last few words came out softer than the rest and Ezra studied her face, looking for a response.

And he got it when she said in a soft voice, "I'll see you around." With that, she turned and walked away.

Ezra wanted to run after her, to fight for her and to say her claims were untrue, that he never meant to push her away and her walking out wasn't what he had wanted, but his insecurities had done just that and left him without her. He had pushed her away and it wasn't fair to push himself back on her.

Ezra knew now was not the time to fight.

**I was going to wait, but felt like a pretty shitty person to leave you all hanging! I know you guys probably wanted them to be like, "Oh, Ezra, darling, I love you and forgive you for being an the biggest ASSHOLE on planet DOUCHE BAG in the universe of I'M A TOOL and we can live happily ever after." But this shit's real. Ain't no fairytales up in here.**

**Okay, but really though, this is obviously an EZRIA story, but I want friction and substance. Trust me, there will be plenty of love to go around verrrry soon. ;)**

**You guys are seriously amazing and I can't even begin to thank you for the love and support you've shown towards me and this story. I thank you for your lovely comments! I am so appreciative of them and I get so excited to see your feedback! Please review and let me know if you're pleased with the story (ok, after this you probably would quit reading and go cry yourselves to sleep...which is understandable) and feel free to let me know if you have any opinions on what you'd like to see (besides more Ezria lol).**

**Love you, my dear readers! You make me SO happy :)**

**xoxo,**

**Halle **


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

_"And even though I can say it's his loss, I know it's mine too."_

Now was not the time to fight. Aria didn't have anything left in her to do so anyways. She was so done with fighting and bickering; it reminded her of the childhood she'd had with unhappy parents that didn't seem so in love anymore after twenty years of marriage and two kids had taken their toll on them.

Even though she so desperately wanted to ignore what had happened and not acknowledge the feelings that nagged at her, threatening to destroy any sense of sanity she had left, she had to at some point before she lost what was left of the person she'd been.

She walked home, biting her lip to transfer the pain of seeing Ezra again.

As she made her way into her apartment, she finally let the tears she was trying so hard to hold back free themselves. They began streaming steadily and Aria didn't care to stop them. She dropped the things that were in her hands and quickly hurried toward the cabinet that held her wine stash.

She grabbed her well-used wine glass in a frenzy, quickly pouring herself the glass of wine she felt entitled to after this mess of a day. She wanted to fall into a deep sleep and never wake up. She felt as worn as her the wine glass she drank from. She slid down the side of the cupboard as she took long sips of her wine to tame her relentless nerves.

_So much for trying to change_, she thought as she savored her drink. She wished that she could change her overwhelming desire to drink away the emotions that left her empty and afraid, but it was hopeless and unrealistic to expect herself to quit a habit that had already started to hold its grip on her.

As the day wore on, Aria Montgomery became lost and hypnotized by her thoughts, but late in the afternoon she was torn from them by several knocks at her door.

She had been sprawled out on the couch, a glass of wine never too far away. She had occupied her mind as much as she could by using the television as a source to entertain her thoughts, but nothing could distract her from the numbness slowly engulfing her.

She tilted her head backwards, lying it against the ledge of the couch. Her view was upside down as she looked at the door from her fixed position on the couch as the repetitive knocking continued.

Soon though, the knocking became a seemingly urgent pounding and, at this, she pulled herself up from the comfortable place she'd made for herself on the couch.

"Hold on!" Aria yelled loudly in an impatient tone, which was enough to make the hollow, repeating sound stop. "I'm coming!"

She arrived at the door and thrusted it open in a hurry to find someone she didn't expect to see greeting her.

"Ezra," she hesitated, her voice soft. She turned ghost white as she realized that he was standing in front of her, so close that she could smell his Ralph Lauren perfume. "You're not supposed to be here," she said sheepishly.

"Aria, I-I can't act like I didn't see you earlier today. I can't act like I don't have anything left to say because I have so much I need to tell you. "

One of Aria's hands rested against the edge of the door while the other laid on the framework, blocking his entry into her apartment. "Ezra, I don't think I made myself clear enough to you if you're going to stand here and attempt to convince me of something you should've long before now."

Ezra didn't budge. "Can I please come in? Just," he paused, softly pleading with her, "please."

"_You're_ the one who wanted this. _You're _the one who ruined what we had. And_ you're_ the one who insisted that I move on. This is me moving on. Don't make me the bad one here; I never wanted there not be an us, but you made it loud and clear to me that that was what _you _wanted," Aria explained, her voice rising as she made each point. "I'm giving you what you wanted."

"Aria," his voice became a whisper. "I need to fix this."

Aria looked to her left, away from the door. A smile formed across her face as she realized the irony of this situation. The one who broke it wanted to fix it. She turned back towards him. "This is the thing, Ezra: you _can't_ fix it."

"No, you won't_ let_ me fix it, Aria. I know you: you're stubborn," Ezra said.

Aria's impatience and anger grew. "You don't know me anymore, Ezra."

"It's been three months, not three years, Aria. Now, please, let me explain mys-"

Aria scoffed and interrupted him mid-sentence. "You don't _know_ what these past three months have done to me. You don't know what I've went through to try to get over you. You don't know that I laid in bed for a week, completely sure that you would come back and pull me from out of my trance. That was when I realized it was real and that's when I gave up on us. I'm not yours anymore. And you cannot be here." She looked down but then found the courage to look back up at him to meet his gaze, finishing in a shaky but demanding voice. "Please just leave."

He stepped closer to her and stood in front of her, so close she could feel his breath on her neck. He wasn't leaving without fighting for her. "Aria, you are the _one_ _thing_ that was always right in my life. You changed _everything_ for me. You are easily the _best _thing that's ever happened to me and I could never regret loving you. The only thing I regret doing was letting go of you. I-I know what I did and it was selfish, but this love," he paused, looking to meet the eyes he'd fallen for, searching for anything he could find that could reveal how she was feeling. He gazed at Aria and a warm smile appeared across his face as he spoke gently, caressing her with his words. "…is a once in a lifetime love. I can't move on from you. It's like you have this hold on me, but I don't want you to release it because it's the most wonderful feeling."

He let out a breath, feeling his lips curve up into a small smile. He plead with his eyes for her to allow him in, not only into her apartment, but back into her heart.

She looked down, a choice to make. She turned, looking back down the hallway and wiping away at the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes. She turned back towards him to meet his deep, magnetic blue eyes.

Aria sighed and, against her better judgment, began moving out of the way and finding a position behind the door, opening it a little wider and gesturing for him to join her inside.

He stepped over the threshold that acted as a barrier and kept him out for the past three months. As he walked in, she looked down, but when he stopped in front of her, her gaze met the warmth of his.

"Thank you," he said, grabbing for her hand. He held it for a second before she grew uncomfortable and slid it out of the familiar and seemingly made-for-her place it'd found.

She nodded, the slightest of smiles appearing on her face.

Here was Ezra's chance.

**I don't really have much to say for once in my life so...**

**I hope that you enjoyed and that this satisfied your Ezria needs lol. If it didn't, story of my life...**

**OH OH OH I need to add something...I know I'm updating every day, but when school starts in three weeks for me, I'm not going to be able to update as frequently. I'm most definitely not abandoning this story any time soon and I do not want to neglect it when school starts, but I'm going to have a huge load this year because I'll be taking AP and college classes plus I have a job and I'll be working 5 days a week. ****PLUS I have treatment 2x a week so my life is going to be crazy but I need to make sure I keep writing because I've found that it really is helping me through treatment and you guys are too, with your supportive and loving words. ANYWAYS,** I'm working on prioritizing so I can keep my sanity and I don't end up like Mona Vanderwaal because that would seriously be some scary shit.

**(If any of you guys are really that curious, just go to my about me page on my tumblr and you can read about why I'm in treatment there because whenever I mention it everyone seems to get curious and then I feel like I have to explain it. Just go to my "About Me" section of my tumblr...The link's in my bio but I'm not gonna directly link it here because you can do it yourself if you're really that interested.)**

**AND also, I wanted to say thank you for the reviews. I really do appreciate your feedback SO much. I just wanted to ask if you guys could give me more than "good" or "great" or "amazing" because that doesn't help me as writer to improve and I want to make the story the best it can be and I need your guys' feedback to do help me do that. I want to make it clear that all your reviews are very much appreciated and I am grateful for anything you have to say. It's just a request :)**

**Thank you, darlings!**

**I appreciate your love and support and I could never thank you enough.**

**xx **


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

_"Feelings that come back are feelings that never went away."_**  
**

_Just as I remembered_, Ezra thought to himself as he made it through the hallway and into the openly-spaced kitchen that overlooked the living room. A wall of windows lined the furthest wall away in the living room with a canopy of trees providing shade and filtering the sunlight coming in.

Aria's presence had been made throughout her apartment: the floral arrangement she picked up fresh every week lay centered on the kitchen island. Her kitchen was clean: a room she always made sure was kept sanitary at all times. Magazines were sprawled out on her living room table in a rather unorganized fashion, but he knew Aria had a method to her madness.

He made more observations: on the couch was a fluffy blanket, one that always had to be near Aria when she was at her apartment so as to make sure she would never get too cold. Even during the summers in the sweltering heat of a hot July day, Aria had to have a blanket. And even though it was a beautiful day, the sun out and shining in enough to light up both the living room and kitchen with no problem, all the lights were on. He knew Aria couldn't stand even the slightest amount of dimness. It was an odd pet peeve, but Ezra appreciated her peculiar ways.

"Can I get you something to eat or drink?" Aria asked feebily, examining Ezra as he carefully took into account the apartment he'd been to so many times before for any changes that may have occurred in the past three months. "Save yourself the trouble," she said, walking over to the cupboard that held her glasses. She filled the one that Ezra had always used (as he claimed it was his favorite drinking cup she had) up with ice cubes and walked over to the sink to fill it with water. "You should know by now: not much changes once I get it the way I like it to be."

He turned his head towards her and grinned. "I missed being here."

The space between them seemed to get tense as Aria's face dropped and Ezra realized what he'd said.

He tried to make up for it but stumbled on his words. "It's just that, you know, we-I-you-"

Aria quickly interrupted him. "It's fine, Ezra." She handed him the cup of water and walked into her living room.

In Ezra's examination of Aria's living room, he'd seen something unfamiliar: a drink. Wine. "You started drinking? Since when do you drink by yourself? You only drink wine when Spencer or the other girls are over. Did they get back to Rosewood and-"

"Yeah, I started drinking a little bit," Aria quickly interrupted. "Nothing to be concerned about, Ezra. It's nothing. A few drinks here and there won't kill me." She grabbed the glass quickly and took it out to her kitchen sink, dumping it out and running warm water over it. _Out of sight, out of mind_, she thought as she made her way back and sat on the couch.

Ezra shook the thought out of his head and asked if he could take a seat next to Aria as she watched reruns of Criminal Minds, her favorite show.

In the few awkward moments of silence that followed, he questioned asking the most obvious question to him: _What happened to us?_ But he knew what did: him.

As the night wore on, silence ensued, but it wasn't the comfortable kind they'd found that came with their relationship. Silence was good to a degree, but this type of quiet wasn't: it was crushing.

"Aria," he breathed out.

She sighed. "Hmm?" She turned her head in his direction.

She seemed oblivious to the elephant in the room. "Don't you think we should talk?" he questioned.

She looked down. "I'm done with talking. I've talked to enough people about this that I'm just done. I feel like I'm a broken record."

"But Aria, you haven't talked to the one person you actually need to: me. This situation is about me and you. And if we want to get anywhere from here, if we want to move on from this, we need to talk so we can actually start to move forward with our lives," he paused, hesitating to say the word that would follow, afraid to see her reaction: "…together."

She looked at him. "I honestly don't know what _we_ are anymore. So I don't know what life will be like 'together' when there hasn't been an 'us' in three months."

The words stung Ezra and he sighed. "I want to be with you but I feel like you're shooting this down."

"Because, Ezra, I don't know what _this_ even is anymore. We need to figure out if we still want the same things before we jump into something again. I don't want your insecurities to wreck what we build again. You need to make sure that you're ready just as much as I do." Her words came out harsh, harsher than she meant them to.

"Ezra," she paused, starting again. "I can't guarantee you anything. It took me a _long_ time to finally talk about marriage and when we finally did get there, I had never been so sure of anything. But now marriage scares me just as much as it did before, so you need to know that us getting back together may not be a long term thing if we can't figure this out."

"Aria, you always asked why it couldn't work out the way we wanted it to if it was what we really wanted, so why are you already putting limitations on where this relationship can go from here?"

"Because I'm not going to be hurt by you again!" Aria yelled, immediately regretting raising her voice, though this was a legitimate fear of hers if Ezra and her did decide to move on their lives...together.

These words hit Ezra…_hard_…but knew it made sense that Aria would be afraid to take another chance. But Ezra knew he had to fight for her the best way he knew how to.

He spoke softly, looking at Aria with the utmost sincerity in his eyes. "Aria, I will spend a lifetime trying to make what I did up to you. It was irrational and I was insecure and I let you go when I should have fought. You were worth that and I didn't give it to you. I understand your reasons for keeping me out, but I need back in. Your love is the most genuine kind of love and when you love, you do it with all your heart. I need that. I need you. I need to buy endless amounts of flowers and be best friends with the floral guy again. I need to buy root beer, lots and lots of it for when you're craving something sweet besides me." At this, he chuckled, emotions flooding him. "I need to use my Netflix account I made just for you. I can't live life any other way than for caring for you and loving you, even when you don't love yourself." His grin suddenly changed to something deeper: a sad, remorseful expression. "Even though I let you walk out, everything in me was fighting to keep you from leaving, but I couldn't bring myself to. I had nothing left in me to fight for you and I couldn't fight for us like I needed to."

Aria looked at him, smiling reassuringly at him and wiping the tears away that were forming in her eyes. "I-I need to think about it and I hope you can understand that."

He nodded and whispered one last thing close to her ear, to the point where she could feel his breathe between her ear and neck. Her hairs stood as he came closer to her skin, feeling the sexual tension rising. "I'll never stop fighting," he reassured her. "Never."

_Like putty_, she thought to herself but she refused to act on her impulses. She couldn't and she wouldn't.

"Um, I should probably go," Ezra said, standing up. "Have to get up at the crack of dawn and teach To Kill A Mockingbird from some _very enthusiastic _high schoolers."

Aria stood too and started walking towards the door, crossing her arms. "Hmm, my favorite." She grinned.

"I know," he said, smiling. He stood before the hallway, not knowing the proper way to say goodbye. As he leaned in to give Aria a hug, she quickly put her hand out and backed herself up. Ezra tilted his head slightly, confusion written on his face.

"A handshake," she said, nodding towards the hand that remained held out. "We have to start somewhere."

"_Okay_," he said, his eyebrows furrowed. He was still taken aback by such a proper goodbye (and improper for them) as he shook her hand. "Goodbye, Aria."

"See ya," she said playfully, a smile across her face.

She led him down the hallway and after she closed the door behind him, she turned her back to the door in a daze. _Smitten._

**TADA! Here's Chapter 7 for y'all. ENJOY and idk what else to say except for:**

**THANK YOU for your kind reviews on the last chapter. You guys really read my added notes and gave me feedback to go off of! So thank you so much for your lovely comments, they were very much appreciated! Tbh, yesterday was a really tough day for me and I cried when I looked back at all of your reviews because a) I was an emotional wreck and b) you guys are so kind and your reviews really made me feel really good. I'm not kidding when I say that your constant support is a great source of encouragement and it really does make my days brighter to receive your feedback. I needed that yesterday and no words can express my appreciation for you guys lifting me up! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your continued feedback and lovely reviews!**

**Thank you for reading, sweethearts xx **


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

_"You're my 11:11 wish  
My first kiss  
With golden eyes  
And butterflies  
It's two a.m.  
The sky drips blue  
The stars whisper  
I'm still in love with you."_

"Arrrrrrrrrriaaa," she heard a voice in her room, small noises and a couple "shhhh!"s. She shifted in her bed as she was startled awake. She felt someone leaning over her and opened her eyes, quickly turning her head to look up.

"Oh my God!" she yelled, sitting up and screaming. She jumped out of bed to see not only Spencer, but Toby standing in her room. She jumped up and down, her face still stuck in her shocked expression as she tightly grasped her best friend's forearms in excitement. "What're you? How're you? You weren't supposed to get back for another three weeks!

"We worked our magic," Toby grinned.

Aria put her arms on her face. "You little pricks! I was going crazy without you!" She ran into Toby's arms. _A happy and much needed reunion._

Spencer and Aria decided girl time was much needed after almost four months apart, so they decided to get some brunch at a the local grill frequented by the girls in past years.

"So," Aria began as they sat down. "Tell me about all Europe! I've been so excited to hear about it! It looks like it treated you and Toby well!"

Spencer spoke about traveling all over Europe and being emersed in and enamored by the culture. Her and Toby were mainly in London for Spencer's internship, but felt lucky to be in a beautiful city most Americans dreamed about getting to someday. "It was the best experience that I've ever had and it was a challenge to say the least. I mean, the culture shock itself took the most getting used to. I'm from Rosewood, a small little town in Pennsylvania where everyone knows each other and then suddenly I'm exploring Europe and staying in London with my boyfriend for four months!"

Aria smiled, fondly admiring Spencer and her ambition to do just about anything.

After Spencer finished talking and the two played catch up, making small talk about the two completely different lives they'd lived in the previous months, Spencer suddenly shifted the focus on Aria with a question that she'd had since she'd seen her friend. "Okay, what gives?"

"What do you mean? I'm just really happy you and Toby are back." She smiled widely. "I mean, I've missed you guys so much. You've basically been my family since the real family situation hasn't been working too hot."

"Are you sure that's it? Aria," Spencer paused, looking at her in a serious manner. "Are you pregnant?"

"Oh my god! No, Spencer! What kind of question is that?!"

"There's just something about you though, beyond that. You're pretty much glowing and," she paused, looking down and hesitating to bring up Ezra. "...considering what's been going on, I figured you'd shut down." Spencer looked at Aria, her voice shaking. "I was expecting the worst, Aria."

"_Well_," Aria cleared her throat. "I wanted to talk to you about that because Ezra and I met up again, just yesterday actually, at the bakery by the apartment. And I stood my ground and then he came to see me in the afternoon and he basically trampled on the ground I had worked to make solid again. We're not together-together, but we're," she paused, thinking of how to word it, "just thinking about maybe being together but not together-together for at least a little while while we short this out."

Spencer smiled, knowing exactly what Aria was trying to say and what it meant. "So _that's_ what it is. Aria's back in _love_."

The two laughed in unison.

"I am not," Aria said, blushing.

Spencer looked at her.

"Okay, well it's never like I _stopped_ being in love. I just stopped acting like I was."

"I know. I knew. I told myself it was just a matter of time, but to be honest, these past two weeks I started really doubting my instincts. Three months you guys were without each other. I expected a few days, maybe a week or two tops. And I'm sorry I wasn't here for you like I should've been." Spencer said, pausing for a moment. She couldn't keep her next comment to herself. "But I'm glad I was right. Spencer's always right." She giggled and Aria did too.

"You're so modest," Aria chuckled, but then she turned her tone into something more serious. "Spencer, you were having the_ time of your life_ in Europe with your boyfriend! I wasn't going to take that away and let my sad tale of a love story ruin your trip!" Aria reassured her.

Spencer looked at her best friend, who was the picture of a beaming girl instead of the one she expected to find when she arrived back in Rosewood. She remembered when Aria had called her at 4 AM in the morning while Spencer was in London.

_Spencer had fallen asleep, wrapped up in Toby's arms and deep in a dream of being back in Rosewood at the grill, sitting around a table with Aria on her right and Hanna and Emily across from them. Her dreams of the girls had been frequent; these were signs of how much she was missing them._

_Suddenly, her phone rang and vibrated on the night stand. Spencer soon woke from her dream and opened her eyes into tiny slits, just barely able to see the caller ID through her small ray of vision._

_Incoming call: Aria_

_Spencer looked at the clock, seeing it was only 4 A.M. She had only been there for a week and a half and was just getting used to the time difference and the chances she had to call her friends during their normal hours. She thought Aria had disregarded the time difference and called her on a whim to talk. Spencer didn't hesitate to pick up the phone. The number of miles that separated her from her best friends couldn't keep her from still being an active part of their lives._

_Spencer quickly answered, sitting up and moving to get out of the bed._

_Toby shifted as Spencer got up and left their room. _

_She hadn't spoken to Aria in a few days and was excited to hear her best friend's beaming voice. "Aria!" she said into the phone, her voice cracking from having just woken up. She cleared her throat to get rid of any crackling that would insist._

_But she didn't hear her friend's unmistakable laugh or her ecstatic voice. Instead, Spencer heard sobs. Heavy, body shaking sobs. _

"_Aria? What's wrong?" Spencer asked softly. _

"_E-Ezra and I broke up," Aria replied in between sobs. "H-He told me that he didn't see a future together. I-It was so sudden and unexpected and I-I don't know what to do. Spence," she paused, sniffling. "We talked about the life we would live together. H-How could he do this? What did I do, Spencer?" Her uncontrollable sobs broke out again. _

_Spencer was left speechless, her heart breaking for her best friend that was thousands of miles away. She couldn't do anything to comfort her with the Pacific Ocean separating them and she felt helpless at this point, unable to do much for the friend she loved so dearly._

After lunch, Aria had told Spencer that she was going to take something to Ezra for him to eat for lunch. She'd always done this when they were together and he seemed convince her to stay during his lunch break to discuss their days so far and the plans they had for later on that night.

The bell rang for lunch as Aria walked into Rosewood High School. High schoolers filled the halls: half fighting to get to the cafeteria for lunch, the other half trying to get to another class.

Aria found herself taking the familiar route she always took to the English department's hallway, where she found Ezra standing outside his classroom door, welcoming in students.

A surprised but pleased look appeared on his face as he saw Aria make her way up to him and hand him a bag of food. "For you," she said, a smile on her face. "I know you still have another hour until lunch, but I wanted to run it by because Spencer and Toby got back from London early and we're planning to go ahead and go up to Spencer's family's cabin for the afternoon."

Ezra smiled, taken aback by the sweet and unexpected gesture. He quickly heard himself saying, "This is one of the reasons I love you."

The awkwardness of this sentence left a tense feeling in the air as Ezra realized his mistake. He stood there with his mouth opened slightly, not knowing how to recover from his awkward blunder.

He tried to save himself from the embarrassment of this sentence coming from his mouth and regain some ground with Aria, who looked just as surprised and mortified as he was.

"I-I mean," he started, but then quickly restarted again with, "What I meant to say was…" But he had nothing. _Wait, _he thought. _Why am I apologizing for loving her?_

Aria's eyes were still wide from the shock of his slip-up and she removed herself from the situation by looking at the students bustling about them. Even though she was regaining these feelings, or rather just recognizing their presence again, she didn't want to hear about "love" because she was just figuring out what it felt like again herself.

Both looked down, not knowing where to take the conversation or where to go in this situation. Finally, in a moment of courage, Aria looked up and met Ezra's eyes.

"I-I should go," she said as she pointed with her thumb in the direction behind her. "Besides, you'll be having a class to tend to shortly, so I probably need to get out of your hair." A wry smile formed, curling up the ends of her mouth. "Enjoy your lunch." She waved a little as she began to walk backwards, in the direction from which she'd come.

"Aria!" she heard her name being yelled from the other end of the hall as she was turning around. She whipped her head back to find where the source of her name was being called from and found someone she didn't expect to see hurriedly walking toward her to catch up to where she was: Miss Galloway.

Miss Galloway was quickly walking up to her, waving and smiling. "How are you? I just wanted to tell you hello and say how sorry I was for our awkward meeting the other day," she said apologetically.

Aria's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Um, it's fine. The awkwardness wasn't really your fault," she reassured Miss Galloway.

Miss Galloway leaned in so just Aria could hear her. "I really hope he finds that you're what he needs. I can't believe he ever let you go with how much he loved you. You're all he talked about even after you two broke up. I saw the way he was around you and you two deserve that kind of love. It's hard to find. Some of us are still looking." She pulled away, a reassuring smile on her face. "I'm rooting for you guys…as long as I can come to the wedding," Miss Galloway finished, grinning wildly.

Aria nodded, a large smile forming. "Thank you," she whispered and looked towards Ezra, who had watched the two girls talk. She waved goodbye to the young woman and flashed a small smile back at Ezra. She then turned on her heels, making her way back down the hall from which she came, smiling to herself.

It was hopeless to fight it.

**TADA! Chapter 8 for y'all :) Sorry if it disappointed...I felt like it wasn't as strong of a chapter as some of my past ones have been!** **I really hope that you guys enjoyed it and are excited for Ezria (and Team Sparia) to start reconnecting again. I'm currently writing Chapter 11 and we're getting into some Aria/Ezra romance! :) **

**On another note:  
I feel like a broken record because I say this every time, but THANK YOU! I will never stop saying it because I am truly grateful for you guys and look at you all as a blessing for me and I want you guys to know how much I appreciate you and never forget it! I can feel myself getting emotional as I write this but I've been searching for something to hold onto and I've been looking for somewhere where I feel like I belong (I'm not a loner, but I've always had a sense of being alone even when I'm not and it's definitely a shitty feeling) and I feel like I've found it here with you guys. Both my readers AND my followers on tumblr (which I'm guessing is where most of you have come from) have given me a place to release my creativity and be vulnerable without fear of judgment or not being good enough. You all are so beautiful to me and you have impacted my life in such a short period of time. The love and support I'm getting is a reminder of the beautiful people and things in my life and interacting with you guys takes away some of my sadness. I wish I could hug each and every one of you personally for reading my story and leaving such sweet comments. I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I feel like you guys are helping me through treatment right now, giving me a place to come to that I know is safe and I swear you guys are keeping me sane. I've been overwhelmed by your sweet comments and I was on the verge of tears reading your reviews. For someone who's never felt good enough, I finally feel good enough here...with you guys. I appreciate that you've allowed me to express myself and given me such an amazing gift by allowing me to share my writing and my feelings and the stories that are always in my head. I wish you could understand how much of a genuine love I have for you all...here's the biggest THANK YOU to all of you. You make me feel loved and I am so thankful for being surrounded by the most beautiful people. *group hug* I love you with every fiber of my being and my heart is just so full of love and appreciation for you all...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! **

**To put it simply: thank you for reading and supporting my story and leaving such sweet, encouraging reviews! They brighten my day :)**

**You are all a gift to me. Thank you for being apart of my life and healing process. xx**

**Much love XO **

**P.S. Thank you for taking my suggestion and being more detailed with you reviews and giving me a better idea of what you guys think! I REALLY appreciate it :) Of course though, ALL reviews are appreciated, no matter what! **

**Also, a few of you have asked if I still plan to do minimum # of comments until the next chapter and I don't really feel like it's necessary. It was just an idea at the time and I was really looking for more feedback. If I really need feedback on a chapter or the story, I may do that here and there! But beyond that, I don't plan to make that a constant thing! :) I'm getting reviews that are helping me further develop the story and they let me know if you guys are enjoying the direction of the story. You're all being very generous and kind with your words and that's more than I could ever ask. Thank you xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

"_I __love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.__"_

A knock on the door signaled Ezra had arrived. "Come on in!" Aria yelled from the kitchen, rushing quickly into her bedroom. "I'll be out in a minute!"

Ezra had made his way in, announcing his presence with a noisy entrance and simple "Hello!" He made a quick left turn into the kitchen to quickly set aside meals he had picked up to surprise Aria with.

As he brought the boxes of takeout out of their sacks, he placed them near the floral arrangement on the center island. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a note sticking out of the flowers and his curiosity made him wonder who they could be from; Aria normally purchased a fresh one for herself every week as a treat to herself so a bouquet from someone else was special.

He walked over to the flowers placed in the vase and tried to see what the small card attached to them read, but he couldn't without taking it out of the massive bouquet of mixed flowers and pops of color.

There was no harm in checking, was there? All he wanted was to see who sent them to clear his head and answer the question that secretly nagged at him: had Aria seen someone while they were broken up? And if she did, Ezra couldn't be mad, could he? They _weren't_ together.

He sighed. A peek couldn't do any harm. But it _could_ if Aria interpreted his looking as a stepping past her strict boundaries of privacy or him not trusting that she hadn't seen someone else during their breakup. And it wasn't like he could just put it back because Aria could easily detect if something was out of place. It quickly became an internal struggle, his thoughts conflicting.

He heard Aria shuffling about in her room with no other movement coming in his direction. He quickly grabbed the card, willing to take a chance in order to please his curiosity and put to rest any possibilities of the like happening in the past months that they'd broken off their relationship. Looking would always allow him to avoid asking such an uncomfortable and upfront question to her.

To: Aria

From: Mom

Aria, I am so sorry for the pain you've felt from your breakup with Ezra and being forced to turn the unfinished page in your love story with him. I wish you would let me do something for you, but I know there's nothing I can do but support you. I just wanted you to know I am not your father's ally in this situation. You are a gem and the most beautiful gift I have ever been given. I believe time heals all wounds and I know that, with time, you and Ezra will move on and be okay without each other. I also pray that you and your father will make any amends you need to in order to move on. I am so sorry for all that's happened and I know you need him right now and he's managed to push you away. I just hope you know how much I love and treasure you and that I'm in your corner…always. XO

_Ella_, Ezra thought.

At this moment, Aria walked into the kitchen. "Hel-" She stopped herself, looking at Ezra. Her facial expression wasn't readable; it didn't tell him much about how she felt at that moment.

She snatched the note from Ezra. "Flowers from my mom, Ezra," she said. "There's no mystery man, just a mom who can't give her daughter space." She threw it in a spare drawer as if it was out of sight, it would be out of mind.

Ezra nodded, clearing his throat. "How did your parents react?" He had an idea after the note he'd read.

"How do you think?" She turned to face him, arms across her chest. "Byron rubbed it my face. He didn't even have to say 'I told you so,' his face said it all. Can't say I was surprised though. That man has no real caring bone in his body. He was happy you left me. My mom stood by while he made sure I knew that he didn't have any compassion for me because I'd 'placed myself in a position to be hurt.'"

Ezra grew silent, looking down and swallowing what he'd heard. He wasn't surprised by Byron Montgomery's reaction either. His ego had always made him feel threatened. He cleared his throat once more before asking yet another question. "What about Ella?"

"She was disappointed. She thought you were the one just as much as I did." Aria looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

Ezra took this as an opportunity to change the subject, feeling her obvious discomfort over the subject. He pointed to the food in front of him. "Dinner. Eat."

A small smile appeared on Aria's face. "Thank you," she said, sighing. "You didn't have to do this."

"I know, but I wanted to." He slid one of the boxes toward her.

That night, they spent their time catching up with one another and talking about how the past three months had treated them, leaving out the details of the nights they'd spent lying in bed alone, their mind with the other, thinking about how they were, what they were doing, and if the other one missed them as much as they did. They didn't talk about the tears they shed, the heartache each felt in their own way, and the ways they tried to cope with the loss of one another.

Aria's laugh filled the room, engulfing Ezra in a warmth he hadn't felt in a while as he listened to his favorite sound, refreshing to him after three months without it.

Finally, at 9 PM, he had to pull himself away from their endless conversation that faded from topic to topic. "Well, I need to get going."

"Since when do you leave me before 11?" she questioned, an eyebrow raised slightly higher than the other.

"Since I've gotten used to no one keeping me up," he said, looking in her direction.

She rested her chin on the palm of her hand that was being elevated by her elbow that rested on the table. She smirked, a memory coming to the surface.

"_Babe," Ezra made his way through the front door of Aria's apartment. "Where's my welcoming committee?"_

_Aria came from the direction of her room, meeting Ezra in the kitchen as he got a vase out from a cupboard. She came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Hey," she said softly as she breathed him in. _

_He turned around to meet her gaze, smiling down at her and leaning against the counter. "I've missed you." He cupped her face in his hands as he laid a soft kiss on her lips. When he pulled away, his lips still touching hers, he mumbled, "Your flowers are over there." He tilted his head in the direction of where he'd laid on them on the countertop. _

_She glanced over at the flowers, looking back at Ezra with a smile growing on her face. "Ezra…"_

"_Hmm…" he trailed off as he began to kiss her neck, his lips trailing along her skin. _

_Aria giggled, taking in his sweet kisses. _

_Ezra switched places with Aria, quickly pressing her against the countertop and sucking on her neck. "I think," he mumbled through his kisses as she moaned. "We should take this somewhere else." He pulled away, waiting for her response._

"_Really? I mean, this is so romantic though. Why ruin the moment?" she asked, winking at him. _

_She was such a tease and she knew it. Ezra smirked and his hands traveled up and down the sides of her torso. _

"_Mr. Fitz," she said in an innocent tone. "Are you trying to seduce me?" _

"_You can figure it out," he paused. "…In bed."_

"_Naughty, naughty, naughty," she teased innocently, poking his sides. Her own hands began trailing up his back and down to his boxers, where she found herself messing with his pants, her fingers finding his belt buckle as she kissed him. _

"Goodbye, Aria," he said as he began to walk down the hallway.

Aria stood behind him, only a few feet away. "Can you come back?" she asked, not caring how much of a forward question it was. Since when did they not ask each other upfront questions? Their relationship was never one where you had to guess what the other one was thinking.

Ezra turned around, a small smile on his face. She wanted to see him again, wanted to make sure this wasn't really a goodbye. _We're making strides_, he thought. "Yeah, of course. Whenever you want me to," he replied softly.

"I'd like that," she said and slowly approached him, bringing him into a long-awaited and much-needed hug.

Ezra was surprised by her being so forward, but warmly welcomed the embrace. He held her close, closing his eyes and kissing the top of her head. He then rested his head on tops of hers and closed his eyes, savoring this moment with her.

They hadn't been this close in three months.

And it felt like it did before: perfect and right in every way.

**I hope you guys enjoyed :) I don't have too much to say, except for thank you for your reviews and kindness! It's so nice to have such wonderful people like you all to keep me reminded of the sweet and lovely people I am lucky enough to interact with! You guys spoil me with love and your thoughtful comments :) Please keep me updated on your thoughts about the story! **

**I LOVE YOU and, as always, thank you for encouragement! Y'all are a blessing to me :) xx**

**Much love XO - Halle**

**P.S. I have all the way up to Chapter 12 written and FYI, chapter 12 is my favorite chapter I've ever written...like ever. It has major Ezria feels so y'all can look forward to some romance! I'm looking forward to posting it for you all! **


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

_"If we weren't meant to give things another try, our paths, our thoughts, would not keep crossing and we would not keep tripping over our feelings for each other." _

Aria woke up, the night before still fresh in her mind. She looked to her right, where there was an empty spot never having been taken since Ezra and her had broken up. In her mind, it was _his_ spot, made for him to lay next to her and make love. She'd had a spot for herself in his bed too, but wondered if it'd been taken after she'd walked out of apartment 3B.

She sighed, her thoughts thrusting herself to the times she'd woken up to him by her side.

_Ezra laid in a heavy sleep, his breaths long and drawn-out._

_She herself had just woken up. She found that she was facing him, still in the same position from the night before. He was close enough that she could hear and feel his breath. They were intertwined with one another in the sheets, legs lying against each other, hands touching, and their bodies close together for warmth and comfort. _

_Aria stared at his perfect features: his fair skin, clear of blemishes, and dimples at the sides of his mouth, perfectly placed next to the creases it. He had a boyish smile, emphasizing these dimples, even in his sleep. His hair framed his face perfectly; the well-styled hair he spent time on to hide the curls he hated were untamed by his bedhead and his eyebrows also helped to accentuate his facial features__. She couldn't find a thing she didn't love about her Ezra Fitz as she lied their watching him in a peaceful sleep. She wondered if he ever found himself dreaming about their wedding day or the kids they ome day wished to have. Was she the only one to fantasize about the life she envisioned they would have together and repeat Mr. And Mrs. Fitz inside her head, enjoying the certain ring it had? _

_He shifted, feeling someone watching him. He opened his eyes into small slits, seeing Aria's smiling face looking at him._

"_Good morning," she said softly and kissed him on the forehead. _

_She then began to move her head back onto the pillow, but Ezra wanted to keep her close, pulling her back in for a kiss on lips. _

She heard a knock on her door, confused by the early morning visitor. _I wasn't expecting anyone_, she thought to herself, looking at the clock and seeing that it was only 6:45 AM. _Who could be here this early?_ She sat up, pulling her glasses out of their case. She'd hated her glasses on and always avoided wearing them whenever possible (that was what contacts were for), but it was early in the morning and she just wanted to get to the door fast enough so that the hollow knocking would stop.

The slight breeze from thrusting open the door made her grown-out bangs lift slightly. Her eyes focused for a minute before she saw Ezra, standing in front of her with two warm, freshly brewed coffees in his hands. She smiled up at him and the strong smell coming from the styrofoam cup Ezra handed her promised caffeine.

"For you, four eyes," he chuckled.

She punched his arm, mumbling, "Asshole." She then paused, looking down at her drink. "Thank you," she said, still obviously tired. She stepped behind the door, allowing for Ezra to enter. "This is so sweet of you."

He smiled back at her, entering the apartment. "I'm sorry I stopped by so early, but I wanted to drop you off a morning coffee before I headed off to work." He paused, looking down at his drink. "And I just wanted to see you, truth be told."

She held the coffee close to her mouth, the steam warming her face. The warmth of the becerage comforted her as she sipped and held it in her hands. "I enjoyed last night," she said.

There was a moment of silence and then Ezra stepped close, putting her hand in his and intertwining their fingers. "I thought about you last night."

Aria nodded slightly, looking down. She didn't know why, but she felt uneasy. _Maybe because it feels right. Better than right. Perfect. _And she wasn't comfortable with something so perfect after three months of everything going downhill. She looked back up to meet his gaze.

He put his drink down before he made his move. "Can we," Ezra hesitated. "Can we start seeing each other again?"

Aria tightened her hold on Ezra's hand as an unspoken "yes" and a shy smile formed as the ends of her lips curled up.

Ezra was relieved, a wide smile on his face. He began to laugh, his sense of relief overwhelming him.

"What, Ezra? Why are you laughing?" She immediately felt self-conscious, feeling her face with her free hand to see if there was anything on it.

Ezra brushed her hair out of her face, realizing how she'd taken his laugh as an insult, a result her self-conscious ways twisting an innocent thing into something demeaning. He couldn't blame her, it'd always been a natural instinct steming from her need to create a flawless façade.

"No, no, Aria. It's not you. You're perfect," he reassured her. "I'm just overwhelmed. I've missed you, I've missed _us_, and I've wanted a chance to make it right. You just made me the happiest man in the world, Aria."

Aria looked at Ezra's beaming smile and the obvious excitement written on his face. She put her coffee down, taking both of Ezra's hands in hers. She looked down at their hands and fingers, intertwined together and smiled slightly at this comforting sight.

"Ezra," she breathed out softly. She looked back up at him, meeting his caring gaze as he waited for her to speak. She hesitated, a deep breath being released before she spoke in a lower tone. "I still do."

He was confused by this statement, unable to decipher what it meant or what it was linked to. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes conveyed his concern for what she was about to say and the fact that he was unable to know where she was coming from and going with the sudden change in conversation.

Aria flashed a comforting smile and finished her sentence, breathing out, "…love you."

Ezra felt overwhelmed by the meaning of her unexpected statement. He didn't think about how to respond, didn't take any time to think about how to react before he already was. He moved forward, his hands finding their way to her soft, rosy cheeks. He cupped them like he always had before as he leaned in, greeting her lips for the first time in three months with a delicate kiss.

Aria didn't hesitate for once and the desire was mutual. She placed her arms around his neck, breathing him in and deepening the kiss.

Ezra pressed her lower body against the kitchen countertop, moving a hand down to her waist where he caressed and graced her skin with his touch. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her even closer.

After a few moments, Aria pulled away from their pleasure-filled, intoxicating and satisfying kiss, breathing heavily. She didn't take her eyes off of his, grinning and finally allowing herself to be completely engulfed by his charm. She was completely smitten over him and felt completely content in his presence, like she was meant to be there in his exhilarating warmth.

"You should probably get going, Mr. Fitz. I wouldn't want to make you late," she said flirtatiously.

"Hmm…" he said, kissing her neck.

Aria pulled away from his soft kisses. "We can continue this tonight," she said, restoring his excitement. Aria winked, pushing him gently away, still just barely holding onto one of his hands. She handed him his cup of coffee off the countertop next to her. "Get going, Mr. Fitz. Your students are waiting," she said in a teasing manner.

"They can wait a bit longer," he replied, obviously looking to convince her to let him stay as leaned in.

But Aria dodged his kiss and gently pushed him forward. "Go. It'll be worth your while tonight," she assured him, smirking.

Ezra's face flushed a shade of bright pink and he nodded, a grin forming to show how pleased he was with her statement and anxious he was for the night to come

As Aria walked him to her door, opening it with a long kiss goodbye shortly following. As she began to gingerly push Ezra out her door before he convince her that he should stay, he managed to lean down and whisper in her ear, "I still do too."

**EZRIA IS ON! (like donkey kong...sorry I had to say it lol)**

**Hello my lovely readers :)**

**FIRST, I hope this finds you all well, my sweethearts :) **

**Secondly: Please, please, PLEASE continue letting me know your thoughts on the story! I have been noticing (and VERY much ****appreciating) more detailed comments you guys have been leaving! They're helping me know if you guys are satisfied and where to go with the story and, of course, they're a JOY to read! You guys are truly a blessing and have acted a such a lovely source of encouragement and support and I'm so happy I have had the opportunity to interact with such beautiful people! I can't thank you enough for your positivity and it's really been helping through some things lately! It's so wonderful knowing I have you guys here and that I have a place to come and feel accepted and loved. Thank you for that :) I know I sound like a broken record, but I just am SO grateful for the feedback and the environment you have provided me with. I have a place to come to now and look forward to reading your positive and encouraging words, kind reviews, and getting to interact with y'all via here and tumblr. I could never adequately express my gratitude and appreciation for you all so I'll keep telling you how much I LOVE and ADORE you guys! I could never thank you enough! Y'all are too sweet to me :)**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this (s/o to Ezria fanatics...hope this makes you happy and gives you some Ezria feels unlike PLL right now)! Let me know how you feel about this chapter and tell me your thoughts :) Your feedback makes me SO happy!**

**Much love as always, darlings XO - Halle**


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day. **

_"This is your choice. It's black and white, not a shade of gray because when you love someone, there's no such thing as halfway."_

All Ezra found himself thinking of that day was Aria. While students worked, he was left in a daze, reminiscing over the previous night they'd spent together, reconnecting and reliving the nights they'd spent in each other's presence.

Ezra couldn't be bothered to grade the papers that were piled on his desk or make lesson plans for the following week; he was too caught up in his thoughts of his early morning kiss, laced with the taste of Aria and strong coffee. He was in a state of pure bliss, completely distracted by the replaying of Aria's intoxicating laugh and the words she'd said earlier that morning: "I still do love you."

In between his second and third hour, he sat behind his desk and multi-tasked between welcoming students as they came in and sending a quick text to Aria.

/

Aria walked into her Advanced English Composition class, making her way to her usual seat. Her phone alerted her that she'd received a text message.

From: Ezra

I'm excited to see you tonight. What do you say to coming over to my place?

Aria smiled to herself, thinking of the leather couch where all their makeout sessions and foreplay had taken place and the bed that she'd found herself in many nights.

She quickly replied:

Sounds wonderful, Fitzgerald.

As she pressed SEND, the door of the professor's office opened and out walked someone she had wanted to avoid: Byron Montgomery.

He had yet to scan the room as he walked to the front of the lecture hall, standing in behind the desk of the professor and in front of the chalkboard. "My name is Professor Montgomery," he began, looking up at the class.

Aria tried to make herself invisible, looking down at her desk.

"I'm your substitute. Class would normally be cancelled if your professor wasn't able to make it, but he asked me to take his place during my free hour. He had a family emergency to tend to but said you guys had to take an important exam over some pieces you've been reading and felt like class should resume without him," he said, scanning the room.

His eyes went to the young girl with her head down. He blinked, trying to focus in on her. Her hair was the same shade and texture of the daughter he hadn't spoken to in nearly three months. She was fair, the same complexion of the child he'd lost connection with.

Aria glanced up, feeling multiple pairs of eyes on her. She saw the class turned around towards the back of the lecture hall, where she sat. They'd all turned as a result of their substitute professor for the day examining the young girl in the back. Aria made eye contact with her father and quickly stood, retrieving her stuff and walking hurriedly toward the door, focusing on the door and avoiding any eye contact with Byron.

She reached the door, quickly walking out into the hall and hurrying to find an exit.

"If you guys could excuse me," Byron said, walking out into the hall and toward his daughter. "Aria!" he yelled.

She walked faster, trying to keep distance between him and her and wanting to find a way out.

It was no use though. Byron ran for her, grabbing her shoulder and turning her around to face him. "Aria…" he said, out of breath.

She looked at him as he stood in front of her. "Byron," she replied without emotion.

"I've been needing to talk to you, Aria."

She chuckled in a sarcastic manner. "Maybe you should take the hint that I don't have any desire to talk to you."

"Aria, don't treat me like this. I'm your father and I expect to be treated with respect. I don't know what has gotten into you, but-"

Aria interrupted him before he could continue. "Respect?" she snapped. "What about respect for me and my decisions? What about the _lack_ of respect you have for your family? I don't need anything from you anymore and I certainly don't need you to preach about respect to me when you have absolutely no idea what it is yourself. The one time I came to you when I was vulnerable, you made sure I felt even more awful. And you want to know what's gotten into me? I got a backbone, dad. I'm not going to let you bully me anymore and make my life as miserable as yours. I'm not your little girl and I never was. A real father would never treat his daughter like you've treated me. A real man would never do what you did to your family."

Aria felt empowered, standing up to her father. "Don't contact me anymore, Byron. Take a hint and leave me alone." She turned, her head held high as she began to walk away.

"Aria Montgomery! Don't walk away from me!" he yelled, trying to intimidate her and get her to turn back around and come running back to him.

Aria turned to face him. "I learn from the best, Byron. I learned that walking away is what you do. After all, you _did_ manage to walk away from your family."

And with that, she left him standing there with no chance to respond. She didn't want to hear what he had to say anyways; she considered whatever he had to say a waste of time. She was going somewhere with her life and leaving him behind.

As Aria headed to her car, she pulled out her phone and dialed a number she'd been trying to resist. She made a long, drawn-out breath in an attempt to release some of the nerves that had built up.

The phone rang and just as Aria was about to give up hope and hang up, they answered the phone. "Aria?" the voice asked softly, hope in their voice.

"Mom," Aria's voice shook. "Mom, I need to ask you something." With this, she began telling her mom the news of her and Ezra reconnecting and deciding to try again after their time apart. She hadn't spoken to her mom in roughly three months, completely removing her from all aspects of her life after her mother had stood by and allowed Byron to speak in such a demeaning manner to her.

She knew she'd broken her mother's heart but needed time for herself to heal after her and Ezra broke up and her overbearing mother refused to give her the space she desperately needed. Aria had decided the best way for her to begin moving on was to get out of her parent's grip and out from under her influence, which meant that she needed to avoid any contact with them.

She knew her mother wanted to be there, but Aria refused to let her in, especially after she began heavily drinking. Her mother couldn't be there in the ways she needed her to and, because of this, it was best for her to cut her out of her life until she felt like she could let her back in.

By this time, Aria was driving in her car. "What I need is to know if you think I'm doing the right thing. I can't ask dad to understand and I already know what he has to say about it, but you never doubted my love for Ezra or our relationship. Do you doubt it now?"

Ella was silent for a moment before she answered simply, "You two will always have my love and support. But you need to ask yourself if _you_ doubt your relationship."

Aria could never doubt their love; it was the most real thing she'd ever felt.

Before she could respond though, Ella answered for her. "But I think you already know the answer."

Aria smiled, thinking of the life her and Ezra had fantasized about together. She didn't even know if forever would be long enough.

/

Ezra sat, eating his lunch and drinking a Diet Coke behind his desk. He sat grading the papers he had failed to earlier in the day, knowing he needed to make himself useful. He would have loved to call Aria and hear her sweet voice, but he had students that were busy making up tests they'd missed and he couldn't pull himself away.

Suddenly though, he heard a knock on his classroom door and through the clear glass, he could see Aria, seemingly right on cue.

She smiled and opened the door.

Ezra grinned back at her but tilted his head toward the students spread out in the back of the classroom.

Aria looked embarrassed, but pointed out to hallway. "It'll just be a minute," she whispered as she glanced back toward the classroom at the students who stared back at her. She looked back towards Ezra, whispering again, "Promise!"

He cleared his throat, pulling himself from his chair and walking over to Aria, flashing her a small smile. She led him into the hallway and he closed the door softly behind him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt. I just didn't expect you to have students in your classroom," she started, her voice barely above a whisper.

"It's okay," he said, his voice low too. "I'm actually really happy to see you."

She smiled. "I just needed to tell you that I'm happy. Really happy."

Ezra returned the smile and took her hands in his, his thumb rubbing the surface of her skin. "I'm still just as much in love with you as I've ever been," he said softly.

Aria looked away, blushing. She leaned in and laid tender, delicate kiss on his cheek as an unspoken confirmation of her feelings. She pulled away, a small but warm smile appearing on her face. "I should go," she said, gently pulling her hands away from his. She began to walk backwards slowly, waving goodbye sheepishly.

Before she could get far enough away, Ezra grabbed her hand and pulled her close. "When can I see you again?" he asked.

"Whenever you can pull yourself away from grading papers," she teased, smirking.

"I'll see you tonight," he replied quickly, beaming.

"Alright," she answered in a soft, almost whisper-like tone. "I'll see you later." She pulled herself away from Ezra and began walking away once again, thinking to herself how good it felt to be Ezra's again.

**TADA, loves! **

**I wanted to say that I am SO sorry about my absence! I said that I had planned to update on a daily basis, but was unable to the past few days because my puppy and kitten decided to chew up my computer cord and my computer ended up dying, so I had no way to charge it and access my documents so I've been living off my iPad to try and communicate as best as I could. I hope you guys understand :) But I got a new charger so I should be able to update as planned!**

**SO because Chapter 12 is next (the long awaited one and my favorite that I've written so far), I would love 15+ comments :) Y'all have been so kind and leaving me tons of lovely feedback with each chapter, so it really shouldn't be a challenge to meet that number! I said I wouldn't ask for a certain number of comments often, but I figured I would this time just because I haven't updated in a while and I want to know your thoughts!**

**I'm SO excited to post Chapter 12 for y'all! It should be up tomorrow if I get comments :)**

**Thank you for sticking with me and being so unbelievably amazing to me! Your love, support, and constant feedback is such a blessing and I couldn't be more grateful for you guys! You are such a wonderful influence in my life right now with your positivity! I love you all. I am so lucky to have such sweet and truly wonderful readers that keep me inspired and feeling loved :)**

**Much love XO - Halle**


	12. Chapter 12

******DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day. **

_"This is sketchy, this raw  
__But this is the truth  
__This is the threadbare  
__Matter of  
__My brain -  
__Infatuated with you.  
__This is the quiver in my voice  
__When I talk about you,  
Body aching,  
__heart and soul soaring,  
and y__earning for your closeness.  
__It's not just feelings,  
__But hopes,  
__Dreams too.  
__Hallucinations,  
__Heart attacks,  
__And th sort of love.__"_

_**ONE WEEK LATER...**_

Aria and Ezra had spent much of their time together during the past week, even finding themselves sleeping over at each other's apartments on nights they couldn't seem to pry themselves away from one another's presence. They had done little to rebuild their intimacy besides an occasional kiss or touch, even though there was strong attraction and temptation. There was both a mutual and intense desire and lust for one another, but before sexual intimacy could be rekindled, their commitment needed to be strong and secured within each other.

On Saturday, they had even had a nice dinner with Spencer and Toby to talk about the very different lives they'd all lived over the three months where Spencer and Toby had been half way across the world and Aria and Ezra had spent time apart in an attempt to move on. But no matter the separate paths they'd taken over the course of the previous months, they'd all found their way back to Aria's kitchen, their most common sanctuary for the hosting of their double dates.

In different ways, they'd all changed but no connection was ever lost. Spencer had become a bit smarter (if that were even possible at this point, but she always seemed to make anything possible) and Toby had come back to Rosewood inspired by his travels and eager to begin the newest project brought forth to him and Spencer by her parents: the opportunity to rebuild the space they had out back and make it into a temporary home for the two of them. Their relationship had evolved and they had become closer after three months of only having each other. Toby had even revealed to Aria that he was seriously thinking about their next chapter together: marriage.

Aria and Ezra had changed in many ways themselves. Aria, still English-obsessed, found herself craving romance and happy endings and avoiding tragedies she was once intrigued by because it seemed that she had suffered through her own tale of a tragic heartbreak and, to her, it still seemed too real. And though she may not have changed much through the eyes of others, Spencer could see a trace of lingering heartache and an underlying fear that fate could decide to abruptly end Ezra and her's love story yet again. Luckily though, Aria's personal demons she'd battled while under the spell of a broken heart weren't detectable. The need for a drink had faded, but she found herself nervous to fall back into its clutches if pushed too far. A drinking problem would be too hard to live down.

As for Ezra, he was a better version of himself. He found that he was even more in love with Aria than before and felt determined to look past their relationship's imperfections and his inability to know what may lie ahead for them to make him weary and hold him back from loving Aria to his fullest. Instead, he focused on what was promised for that moment.

Aria and Ezra were back on track and the love they shared was still just as strong and humbling as it had been before. They had another chance to be together and neither of them wanted to let that go.

/

They had spent their evening together, sprawled out on opposite ends of the couch with their feet meeting and remaining intertwined in the middle. Everything felt just as comfortable as it always had been and both appreciated the comfort of being in one another's presence.

Ezra slowly began to lean in, slightly hesitating in fear of Aria pulling away in discomfort. But as he leaned in, she didn't pull away or hesitate, but instead, leaned further into the kiss.

It began as a soft, gentle kiss, slow and steady with passion. After a moment of controlled passion, the desire overwhelmed both of them. Three months without each other's touch, not being able to be close in this way to one another or intertwined by the deep love they shared. Their need overflowed into intense intimacy and Ezra quickly wrapped his arms around Aria, pulling her close and deepening the kiss.

Aria pulled Ezra in, her arms around his neck. Their long-kept lust and affection for one another boiled over into uncontrollable need as Ezra's hands began trailing along the sides of her torso and finding their way under her shirt.

Aria laid back, her head resting against the ledge of the couch. She didn't stop Ezra from caressing her skin with his gentle hands; she had no desire to keep him from doing so. His tongue found its way inside her mouth and her own hands grasped the front of his jeans. She gripped the waistline of his pants and pulled him closer, laying him on top of her. Her hands traveled along the front of his torso, tightly grasping his shirt and holding it between her fingers. She began loosening his tie from around his neck and unbuttoning his shirt.

Ezra moved from her lips down to her neck, kissing and sucking her soft skin as she began to moan. He found his hands still trailing under her shirt, gently messaging her skin.

She breathed into their locked lips, mumbling, "Maybe we shouldn't go this far yet," as Ezra trailed her neck with kisses.

When she said this, Ezra quickly pulled himself away and nodded, wanting to make sure she didn't feel compelled to do something she wasn't comfortable with. "Okay," he said in a calm, soft tone, brushing her hair away from her face. "It's what you feel comfortable doing, Aria."

This was one of the reasons Aria loved him and she thought about this as he rolled off of her and onto the other side of the couch, where he began to button up his shirt again. She had never met a guy so respectful and she admired this about him. He'd never pressured her and always wanted to make sure she was okay with whatever they did. Ezra had always been gentle and loving towards her and never let his desire or lust for deeper intimacy interfere with his consideration for her. He was protective of their love and never wanted their intimacy to turn into something that didn't feel right to her.

She sat up too, her eyes examining Ezra, admiring the man he was.

Ezra noticed her gaze fixed on him. "What?" he asked softly, a hint of concern in his voice. "Is something wrong? Did I—"

But before he could finish his sentence, Aria interrupted. "Ezra, you didn't do anything at all. I was just thinking about how much I'd missed having someone like you in my life. You're so unlike any other guy in the way you care for me." Her hand reached for his, tightly holding his hand and interlocking their fingers. "I appreciate that," she said, an assuring smile appearing on her face.

He smiled, comforted by her hand on his and the words she'd spoken so sincerely about him. "I want to make sure that you're always okay. You're my main priority and I don't want to ever make you feel uncomfortable. Besides, we have the rest of our lives to make love. One night won't make a difference as long as I can have you forever."

She flashed him a warm smile and thought about the last words he'd said, which took her back to the long talks they'd had about forever, when they'd predict what lie ahead for them, detailing how they envisioned their futures, linked and intertwined by the love they shared for each other.

_Aria was mindlessly flipping through her magazines as Ezra watched some television in an attempt to pass the time. They sat in comfortable silence on her couch, her legs spread across the sofa and her feet planted on top of his thighs. He was sitting with his legs sprawled out onto the living room table that sat in front of the couch, his hands rubbing her feet every so often as if to remind her he was still there._

_He suddenly paused the show he was watching and turned to face Aria, who was still obliviously turning the pages of her magazine, looking for something to catch her eyes. _

"_Aria," Ezra said in an attempt to get her attention. _

_It worked as she looked away from her magazine and up at him. "Hmm?" _

"_I know that you've said in the past that you don't want to get married, but I still think it'd be a great thing for us. It'd be like a full-on commitment to each other and the future we want together. We could have the excuse to live together, buy a house, start a family…" said Ezra, beginning to trail off. He hoped he could persuade his girlfriend of three years to take a leap of faith and give marriage a chance. He never thought he'd have to convince a girl to marry him; he always saw it the other way around. But Aria made him want forever and a ceremony with a diamond ring to seal the deal. _

_Aria sighed. "Ezra, I don't need a ring to prove I'm in love. And we don't need to be married to have that kind of life together. Besides, we're already committed to each other," she argued._

"_I know you say that, but I don't think that's the right way to go about it. I want to marry you and call you my wife. I want you to have my last name. Think about Aria Fitz; it has a certain ring to it. I want wedding pictures we can hang up at our house and have our children look at. I want to share a place with you without our parents looking down on us. I want to share a bed with you without feeling guilty," he explained. "Please hear me out, babe."_

_She grabbed his hand from his lap and held it tightly. "I can appreciate that, Ezra. But you know that I grew up with married parents and it didn't make a difference. In the end, they were both bitter."_

"_We aren't your parents, Aria," he reassured her._

_She exhaled a long, drawn-out breath. "Look, I'll think about it. No promises though."_

"_Okay," he replied, relaxing slightly. "If you do decide it's not what you want, I'll find a way to accept it as long as I can have you forever." His eyes still pleaded for a "yes" though. _

_Aria smiled, his romantic ways making her blush. "Deal," she promised, leaning in to kiss him. _

Thrusted back out of the memory, she quickly, and without thinking or hesitating, asked, "Do you still want to get married?" in a forward manner. She had even surprised herself with this question.

Ezra was taken by surprise by such an upfront question, confused by its origin.

"Nevermind," she said quickly, realizing that she'd placed him in an unfair position as she saw his confused expression. She wished she had avoided asking; it didn't matter anyways. They still had to gain back everything they'd lost before it'd ever be in the plans again. _Stupid, Aria. Stupid._

But to her amazement, he replied, "I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with you."

**TADA! Chapter 12 :) **

**I've been waiting to post this for you guys because I know you guys have been waiting for some Ezria feels and I figured that this would satisfy them! :) This is BY FAR my favorite one that I've written because, well, it's Ezria...in love ;) **

**PLEASE let me know your thoughts! This is the chapter I have been so excited to post for you guys and I would absolutely LOVE to know what you guys thought about it and get some feedback! Y'all never seem to disappoint me with your kind, sweet reviews and I just couldn't appreciate it more. I know I say it all the time, but THANK YOU I am so grateful for the endless amounts of support you guys give me and the love you show for me and this story! I am so passionate about this story and I am SO happy that you guys are enjoying it as much I love writing it! I never expected such amazing feedback and I am just so blown away by your support :) Y'all brighten my days and are such an inspiration to me! You guys have had such a positive influence on me since I started and I am sooooooo thankful and blessed to have such wonderful readers :) I hope you guys know how appreciative I am of you all! I have endless amounts of love for each of you! **

**And I wanted to give a shoutout to everyone who has reviewed! You amaze me with your kind comments and positive feedback! Your thoughts are important to me and I love getting your input! THANK YOU to everyone! And I wanted to s/o the people who seem to comment most frequently that have left their usernames: Sleepoversat3B, obsessedwithezria, LuvLucianEzria, Caro M, lettherebelove0721, HarrylovesGinny09, Angie72, and EzriaFreak. I'm sorry if I missed you! I just wanted to make a special shoutout to the people I see commenting most often that had names avaliable! :) Thank you for your guys' constant feedback and support! And of course, an overall huge thank you to ALL of you who read and review! I hope you continue to enjoy the story :) **

**I LOVE YOU ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK!**

**Much love, appreciation, and admiration XO - Halle**

**P.S. I'm going to be writing and posting another story here soon called "The Story of Us" and I'll be starting to post one-shots too once I start writing them :) I've been wanting to expand the number of stories I post and I have some storylines I'm interested in writing! I can't wait to start posting more than this one story for you guys! **


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

_"Roses are red..."__  
_

The door pounded, making a loud, hollow noise that woke Ezra. He found himself recognizing his surroundings, groggily coming to his senses. He laid in his bed in the clothes he wore from last night and recognized the sweet perfume that smelled of strawberries as Aria's signature scent, but she was nowhere. It was just him and the repetitive pounding at his door, an obvious attempt at someone trying to get his attention.

He pried himself out of bed, wanting to make the harsh knocking stop. He stood, walking to the door of apartment 3B and opening it to find Byron Montgomery standing in front of him.

"Hello Ezra," he said, his voice tense and serious.

"Uh, hello…Mr. Montgomery." He was confused why Byron had made his appearance at his front door in the early hours of Sunday morning.

"We need to talk. Ella told me that you and Aria were back together and I don't think I made myself as clear as I meant to: you need to be done with my daughter. She has chances to be someone, unlike you. If you really love her, you'll see it through that she gets to have these opportunities. You can't provide her with what I can, Ezra. You need to recognize this and stop fantasizing about playing house with my 21-year-old daughter," Byron threatened.

Ezra was thrown off by his forwardness and request. "Byron, I can respect that you don't like me, but I'm_ in love _with your daughter. _We_ have a chance to be something together. Why can't you just let me do all I can for her and trust that it'll be enough?"

"You have no chance at a life with my daughter as far as I'm concerned," Bryon stressed.

"Well, luckily, that's not your call. And in case you haven't noticed, not every man is you—not every man will find a way to turn away from the people who need him most. As far as_ I'm_ concerned, you haven't earned my respect or have any say in the life Aria and I decide to live. _You_ turned away from her, remember?"

Ezra suddenly felt a pounding in his head, the cold wood floor beneath him.

Byron leaned over him, seething, and whispered, "You son of a bitch. _You_ created this mess. If it wasn't for you, I would still have my daughter."

"No, you wouldn't," Aria said, obviously angry and confused by the situation at hand as she stood at the threshold dividing the hall from apartment 3B. She rushed down to Ezra, looking down at him and feeling a sheer rush of panic and uncontrollable temper.

She stood, her eyes portraying the betrayal she felt. "What don't you understand?! I'm _not_ your little girl anymore! I'm not yours and I never was! You have no control over me, over _this_. Did you forget that you left your family, destroyed everything you built for a damn _whore_? And then you give Ezra and I the third degree because of our six year age difference when you practically threw yourself on Meredith, who's thirteen years younger than you because mom couldn't take the prick that you are anymore! She was smart to kick you out on your ass and she should have done it sooner! She should have done it before you brought your wrath onto your family! I'm trying to be happy and I at least deserve that. I'm in love with Ezra and you pushing him away and not accepting us for what we are only pushes me further away," she yelled.

Byron Montgomery stood in shock from the words his daughter spit at him. "I know I have not been the best father but I want what's best for you," he said calmly, trying to resolve the tension and keep Aria from becoming even more frustrated.

"Then learn the definition of what space is and give it to me!" Tears began to form. "How can you expect me to move on when you keep giving me reasons not to?" She paused, looking down and exhaling a deep, drawn-out breath before saying, "You need to leave and never come back."

After her father reluctantly left, unable to defend himself, she kneeled down to Ezra, tears steadily steaming. "I-I'm so sorry," she stuttered. "You were sticking up for me, for _us_ and," she paused, sniffling, "…this is what happens. I'm sorry you're in this mess."

He brushed her hair away from her face, a small, reassuring smile a reminder of his unwavering care and love for her. "I'll always defend what we have, Aria."

She kissed his forehead and smiled down at him.

\

"Are you comfortable?" Aria asked as she helped him lay back.

"I would be better if you were on top of me," he said, a smirk forming.

Aria chuckled. "I don't think that'd be very good for you. You need to rest."

Ezra grabbed her hand and dragged it close to him, pulling her in as he took ahold of hand. "Please," he whimpered in a flirty manner. "I think it'd be _very_ beneficial."

Aria shook her head, blushing. She crawled on top of him as he requested and began to kiss his lips, a steady stream of passion building to a torrent of lust. His tongue fought for dominance, asking for entrance into her mouth as he deepened the kiss and rose up to meet her better.

He slowly began trailing his hands along her torso, slowly beginning to inspect under her shirt with his hands like he had many times before. He had her body memorized, along with all the ways she liked to be touched. He pressed his fingers above her hips, rolling her forward as he laid back on his pillow. Aria's hands also began finding their way around his body, her fingers running through his chocolate locks of hair and her own hands found themselves trailing along under his t-shirt.

After the intense intimacy had built up between them and they found themselves unable to resist its hold, they gave into their desire for one another's touch, but before their need led to something much more, Aria pulled away, wanting to save the temptation for another day.

She crawled to her side of his bed and slid into his arms instead. "Rest," she said softly, as she curled her body next to his and wrapped her arms around his torso, clinging to the comfort of the warmth he provided her with. She found herself content and satisfied with lying so close to him, their bodies nestled together.

She breathed Ezra in and savored the solace of this moment. She was quick to close her eyes and easily found herself in her own dreamland.

_"Kiss me a paragraph, I'll reply with a novel."_

_Ezra's hand was in hers, their fingers intertwined. They laid on his brown leather couch, Aria's head against the left ledge as he leaned over her and laid soft kisses on her skin, tempting temptation itself. _

_The end of a movie had sparked a passion and irrefutable need in both of them to find something in the other one that they had been missing: themselves._

_Whole was the word that came to mind for Aria. She never knew she had been missing something in herself, but meeting and falling in love with Ezra showed her that she'd been missing more of the person she was than she'd ever known. He had become the better half of her and she found herself admiring the hold he had on her. His touch was every bit as intoxicating as it'd ever been and she longed for his steady, passion-filled kisses to linger on her body and lips, a reminder of what they shared._

_Moments replayed in her mind, like a movie of their own. _

_The first day they met in a pub when she was sixteen and just about to begin her junior year of high school. Everything was so forbidden, and yet, so desirable. _

_Seeing him as her English teacher that first day of junior year. Her heart dropping when she caught a glimpse of him._

_Time spent together in between class, trying to figure out what, exactly, was going on between them. Constant glances at each other during class, reminders that neither one could stop thinking about the other. _

_Trying to stay away from each other because they knew where it could lead. That was no use because, as much as they had tried to live separate lives, it seemed that fate was steering them towards each other, their paths meant to cross. _

_Undeniable attraction and affection for each other. Unsuccessful attempts at ending the love affair they had but had yet to even acknowledge._

_Nights spent in apartment 3B, disregarding the obvious moral dilemma of a student-teacher relationship._

_Fights they'd had about right and wrong and where their relationship fit into this spectrum. Yes, in theory they were a lot more wrong than they were right, but how could a love like this be wrong when it made complete sense in every way?_

_Try as they might, they still found themselves lingering in each other's lives, a constant reminder of what they wanted but couldn't have. Even when they acted on these desires during times of weakness and overwhelming need for each other, both found themselves knowing that, although their love was wrong, theory wasn't applied here or playing its role: fate had taken its place. Neither felt that their story was done or had even begun. They came to an agreement that, no matter their urges to be lured in by their attraction to one another, they'd have to play the waiting game for the right moment to act fully and completely. It seemed to be the ultimate waiting game: passion, affection, temptation, and a desire to become intimate in ways they shouldn't—couldn't—acting as constant reminders of their unfulfilled need to be with each other._

_Their feelings for each other grew deeper and harder to ignore. This was love, no matter how much either of them wanted to deny it, was real and worth a shot. It seemed that the love they had pursued them and kept them coming back to each other. Fate wanted to keep them connected and it was useless to fight what destiny had planned for them. _

_They said when you fell in love, you became a fool. Maybe she had, but she was a fool for Ezra Fitz._

_As his hands caressed her skin and his lips trailed along her body, finding the perfect spots to suck lightly on her skin, she let a small moan escape. _

_"Ezra," she said with desire laced in her voice. _

_She tugged at his jeans, unbuckled the belt that kept them around his waist and worked on unzipping his pants as he continued to search her body for sweet spots._

_But he found himself pulling away and whispering in her ear, "Smell the roses."_

Aria woke, breathing heavily with a layer of sweat covering her overheated skin. She looked over at Ezra, who lay unstartled and seemed to be at ease, a peaceful look on his face as he found comfort in his own dreams.

_Smell the roses? _she thought to herself, confused by its meaning and why something so seemingly insignificant and unrelated had made its way into her dreams. What it could mean remained a mystery to her.

But she'd soon discover that the problem with living in a dreamland is that you have to wake up.

And_ smell the roses_.

**It'll make sense next chapter, I promise :) **

**First off, I just wanted to apologize for not posting! My life has been SO hectic with work, AP/college classes already starting, and then my junior year starting Thursday! Obviously, posting everyday isn't really possible, but I plan to post at least 3 times a week :) AND t****here will definitely be at least two other stories appearing here soon (I'm thinking early September, but I can't say for sure)! And I have a few one-shots coming! So y'all can get some other Ezria feels because PLL isn't giving them to us right now. Can we all just agree that Pretty Little Liars was created to be a mind fuck game or...**

**SECONDLY...here I go again (I swear I'm a broken record)...I love y'all so much and appreciate the feedback on this story! It's my baby so I'm glad that you guys are seeming to enjoy it and leaving me so many positive responses! I hit over 100 in 12 chapters and I'm mind blown at how lucky I got to have such beautiful people supporting my writing and reading my story! You really are a blessing and I am truly so very thankful for your comments because they make me feel like I'm good at something and I'm just so honored that this story has captured your guys' attention! You never fail to brighten my day and make me feel special :) I don't think I've ever felt so connected to so many people before. I truly love getting the chance to interact with people on here and on tumblr who are just as passionate about PLL and the ships and writing. I consider you guys my friends—y'all just get me :) I just feel so much love from you guys and I never expected that! So thank you, thank you, thank youuuu! **

**Much love XO - Halle**


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

_"And if you're in love, you're one of the lucky ones because most of us are just bitter over someone."_

Ezra had left for work the next morning after putting up much of a fight with Aria on the subject. "I'm fine," he promised and practically pleaded.

Aria looked at him, examining him for anything unusual. "You took a nasty blow last night, Ezra. I'm not sure I want you risking something." She sounded like an overprotective mother as she spoke, but he knew it was just her fear of something more becoming of the altercation and he could hear that mounting concern for it lingering in her voice.

"Aria," he said as he cupped her face in his hands. "I will be _fine_," he insisted and gently placed his lips on hers, a soft, long kiss ensuing.

She pulled away slightly in her last attempt and tried to appeal to the man in him. "But we could stay like _this_ all day." She paused, a grin on her face. "I don't have to go to class today and we can-"

But even this didn't make him budge and reconsider taking a day off. "Aria," he said, sighing. "I'm going." He paused for a moment, but then leaned in to kiss her forehead. As he pulled away, he reminded her, "I'll see you tonight."

It wasn't that he didn't want to spend a day with her, but he knew that spending a whole day with Aria made him want her even more and she wasn't ready to open up enough for that part of the relationship to begin again. He was okay with that, but didn't want his desires to overwhelm him in the heat of the moment. He knew that he'd never go past what she felt comfortable with, but he needed to not be placed in a situation where he had to keep a close watch on the obvious sexual intimacy that still existed between the two of them and where it took them before they were ready to open that door again and explore the love they shared in closer ways that a quick kiss or hug. And the truth was, neither of them were ready to become intimate in that way just yet because they needed to maintain a strong connection without being sexual towards each other.

After Ezra left for work and Aria was left to her own devices to pass the time until her full day of classes started, she found herself wandering his apartment, becoming reacquainted with it but wishing he was there to pass the time with and be an excuse for her to not go to the lecture halls and classes full of intimidating English professors and students who seemed to believe that they had the most potential out of all the other seemingly lacking students in the class.

She walked over to his unmade bed, smiling at it as she thought of the night before and how comfortable she felt being so close to him. It was like nothing had changed: the spot in his bed was still reserved for her, no matter the nights she'd spent away from it. Her face flushed when she was reminded of the times they'd spent together, intertwined with one another between the sheets, completely in love.

She sat on the bed, close to the nightstand and admired the picture that laid on the top of his dark, oak nightstand: a moment of their love captured. Ella had snapped the picture at a family dinner. Aria stood next to Ezra, both arms wrapped around his waist and an admiring grin on her face, one that obviously held laughter, as she looked up at Ezra, who smiled widely back at her. It was a candid moment and the two were extremely happy with the photo her mom had taken and given to them as a surprise gift on their 2-and-a-half year anniversary.

She picked it up to look more closely at the picture, but as she did, she felt a small slip of folded paper attached to the back of the frame by a small piece of tape. She flipped over the picture frame, tearing the piece of paper off the back carefully. She unfolded it and tried to remove its creases it had gotten as time kept it paralyzed on the back of the frame. Her face was drained of all its color as she began to realize what it was and what it could mean.

She looked at it in disbelief: a 5,000 dollar check from Byron Montgomery.

Aria spent her Old Literature class sitting and thinking of what the check she found could have meant. Did it change anything? Everything? Dozens of explanations occupied her mind, keeping her from examining the words of Shakespeare and being engaged in class discussion.

She planned to skip her next class to go see and talk to Ezra over his free lunch period. It wasn't something that could wait much longer because the questions were keeping her in a state of panic and emotional instability and the answers were seeming to call her, teasing her with playful "catch me if you can"s and a constant repetition of "you'll never understand, foolish girl," which kept it nearly impossible for her to be productive with her day. Her decision had been made by the end of the exhausting set of morning classes that had allowed her much time to be with her thoughts.

She was left to think about it by herself during the ride to Rosewood High and she thought she would implode by the time she parked in a guest parking spot. But deep down, something in her knew that no matter how many reasons she came up with, the truth behind the check wasn't going to change, twist, vary because it was exactly that: truth. She feared she already knew what the truth was. Consciously though, she wanted to give Ezra every benefit of the doubt and allow him a chance to explain because something in her - everything in her - screamed, telling her to not let go and hold on tightly to him because he was the one.

Aria walked in a fast pace as she made her way into the school, ignoring the faces of students as she raced past them. Answers motivated her to reach Ezra as quickly as possible before the unknown and what she found could possibly mean for them ate her alive. A check made out to him from her father made no sense and she could only come up with one possible explanation for a large sum of cash being given to him from her dad and she feared that it correlated with their sudden breakup. Could Ezra really have been sold out?

"Ezra," she said, walking into his classroom and up to his desk. "We need to talk."

"Okay," he said, a concerned look on his face, though it was obvious that he was happy to see her.

She wanted to keep calm and slowly lead into her questions, but her anxiety for an answer made her quickly pull the check out and pair it with the note she'd found. "What _the_ hell is _this_?!" she questioned him as he glanced at it, allowing his eyes to focus on what she was holding. "What the hell does this _mean_, Ezra?!" she asked furiously, her eyes beginning to water as she saw his face drop. She knew what it meant: her instincts were true.

She shook her head silently, trying to deny it and blinking back the tears quickly forming in her eyes.

"Aria," he began, but was immediately interrupted.

"Read what the note says, Ezra," she demanded.

Ezra didn't reply, refusing to make eye contact with the note and check she was holding.

"Read the god damn note!" she said, raising her voice in frustration.

He cleared his throat, hesitating and looking up. His eyes sent out a plea of _please, don't. Please don't make me do this_.

But Aria's head nodded upwards once, a silent command to read it.

He mumbled, "For whenever you decide that Aria's future is more important than the one you two seem to have made up in your minds. I thought this would be a nice incentive for you to compromise" just loud enough so she could hear it.

At this, tears escaped, steadily streaming down Aria's face. "Ezra," she whispered in a voice that reminded him of a whimper a wounded animal would cry out. She wanted him to deny it, say the words were a sick joke, but she had seen and read them too.

"Please, Aria, listen to me," he started, pleading with her in an attempt to make her stay.

She did. But only because something in her hoped that deep down inside, it wasn't what it seemed and there was a reasonable answer.

"Your father came and talked to me one day," he began when he realized she was staying to listen. "He convinced me that I was holding you back and taking away chances and that if I continued to do that, it would be selfish of me. You deserved to be with someone your age and who didn't keep you from experiencing the things that you should at this age."

"Since when is that _your_ decision?" she snapped back. "And why did you think it was yours to decide on? What happened to us being a team?"

"I didn't want to have the life you weren't intended to have because of me. There's so much out here, more than _this_. You deserved to go places and that's what I wanted for you. I don't want to be the reason you have regrets or the reason you didn't have the chance to experience more than what I can offer you," he explained frantically in an attempt to keep Aria from leaving and to get her to try to understand where he was coming from.

Aria broke out into sobs. "You made me feel like it was me. I didn't know what I did to you when you suddenly decided that there was no room for me in your life. Did you ever think about that, Ezra? I felt _worthless _and _broken_. I wanted to be with you and I was willing to give up all that so that we could have an actual chance, a shot at the life we wanted together. I_ told_ you this before."

"I didn't want you to sacrifice opportunities! You could go far, father than you could with me," he said softly, attempting to reason with her.

"I don't want to go anywhere if it's not with you!" she yelled.

With this statement, a silence blanketed them. The quiet that ensued between them was tense and growing. Aria wiped the tears from her face, trying to get her emotions under control. Ezra was quiet, stuck in his own thoughts and thinking about what she had said and how he had allowed Byron Montgomery to bully him into something he never wanted and convince him that their future and the plans they'd made were insignificant and unrealistic.

She had just one more question for him. "Why didn't you fight?" she asked sheepishly, looking down with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I thought he was right and that there was nothing to fight about. I wanted what was best for you and had to put my wants and needs aside to make sure yours were met," he explained, his tone low and soft in an attempt to settle the rising tension and frustration.

Aria snapped her head in his direction, looking up at him with disbelief written all on her face. "I would have fought, Ezra! I would have fought for _us_ and what _we had_. I would have fought for the life we wanted to share. What happened to being in this together, Ezra? I was willing to sacrifice parts of my life because I wanted to hthat's life with you. And you made the choice without me, made the choice _for me_. You're selfish for doing that, no matter your reasons. And you completely disregarded the meaning of a life together. I thought we were on the same page, but you gave up so easily and if you're willing to give something so 'special' without a fight, what does that mean for us? Or the future we wanted together?" She took in a long breath then exhaled to release the emotions built up inside her.

She shook her head slightly in disbelief. "And knowing that you took 5,000 dollars over me and the promise of a future together..." she trailed off, not beings able to finish. "Just keep the check, Ezra," she finished, unable to make eye contact with him.

"Aria, I don't want the check. There's a reason I never did anything with it. I could never accept that money." He took the check in his hands and began to tear it up, wishing to undo the damage it'd already done. "5,000 dollars is nothing to me compared to what we have a chance at."

"But it was enough at the time," she scoffed, looking up at him with a harsh glare.

"I didn't end things because of the money, Aria. I ended it because I thought that you had a better chance at a life you wanted - and deserved - without me."

"Ezra, the _only_ thing I cared about having in my life was _you_. There's nothing that I wanted besides a life with you and I don't care about those chances because I had what I wanted and needed with you. Why do you get to make these decisions for me? For us? Our future isn't just in your hands," she said.

She looked around his classroom, avoiding any eye contact, before saying in a low voice, "I need to go." She glanced up at him for a moment then turned to leave.

But before she could leave, Ezra grabbed her wrist gently and turned her around to face him. "Aria," he said, his eyes pleading for her not to leave like this. "What does this mean?"

She herself was unsure of where this left them and what it meant for their newly recovered relationship. The only thing she was sure of was that she needed time to think for herself. "I don't know," she replied simply.

"I don't want to lose you again," he said, sadness laced in his voice.

"I can't guarantee that you haven't," she whispered, distancing herself from him. She gave him one final glance, her eyes seeming to say, _I'm sorry I can't give you more_. She left quietly, trying to fight back more tears from destroying any sense of strength she had left.

Ezra stood, his head down as he tried to comprehend how everything had gone so wrong so fast.

Aria was gone and so was his chance.


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

_"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."_

Aria had been hauled up in her apartment since noon, thinking about where to go and how to move on from the point she was at. It was unclear in where her and Ezra's relationship stood. Her idea of him and their newly rediscovered chance at a future had managed to change paths yet again, sending her for a loop.

She felt foolish. Betrayed. Like money was more important than her feelings. Like her father was interfering in the most important aspects of her life no matter how much she had managed to remove him it; he still had power and control.

She'd contemplated her next move, her nerves spiking and anxiety rising. She found herself looking at the cupboard she used to go to multiple times during the day to retrieve a wine glass. She hadn't felt urged to do so since Ezra came back into her life, as if he was the answer to this internal struggle to give in to the drinking or refuse to live under its spell.

She was jittery, her foot tapping the floor as she sat on the couch, mindlessly flipping through channels and trying to redirect her thoughts somewhere else.

After a while though, she found that her attempts to subside her thoughts and feelings were not working, but she refused to drink her way out. She went into the kitchen and grabbed her two wine bottles, pouring them down the kitchen sink to rid herself of temptation and the chance to fall back into a drinking habit that had held much more control than it was supposed to. Instead, she was going to reach out to her dad and ask the question she'd been trying to find the answer to herself.

Aria decided it was time that she stopped hiding from Byron Montgomery and began seeking answers in her father, rather than herself, as she had previously done. The answers to her burning questions were never within her, but rather, could be found in her father. He was the origin of her insecurities and the many years she'd spent in a constant state of unhappiness. She was finally done living under his unwavering influence that held her in a desperate and heavily depressed mood. She deserved to break free from the life he'd forced her to live for the past twenty-one years and insisted on a chance to be something without him—something better than what she could be with his constant grip on her.

She had begun to find comfort in the things she could offer and believed she had a chance to live a life she was proud of. That was one thing she loved about Ezra: he, too, believed in her and saw the potential she had. Ezra never once made her feel insecure, but instead, was a constant encourager of the things she wanted to do with her life and what she wanted to make out of herself. They both had the same passions and hopes and their ideas of a future together never seemed to drift in opposite directions or separate onto different paths.

Aria couldn't wait to ask Byron for an explanation of his seemingly careless actions and she found herself making her way onto campus, her feet taking her where she knew she needed to go but her heart was scared to follow. She made her way into her father's classroom, empty and silent, and found herself standing in front of his office door, taking a deep breath to settle her nerves and calm the anxiety that had built up on her way to and around campus with her mission in mind.

She flung the door open, seeing her father quickly turn his head from his computer to her, a surprised look on his face to see his daughter standing in his office doorway, especially after what had happened the previous night at Ezra's apartment.

"Aria," he said in a low, gentle voice, as if pleading for her to respond in a forgiving manner without him having to apologize. What she responded back with in return though was not what he had expected; she wasn't there to forgive him or run into his arms.

"Dad," she whispered. "Tell me what you did isn't true."

"Aria, what are you talking about?" he asked, a sense of confusion in his voice.

"The check," she breathed out.

Silence on his end.

"The damn check you gave Ezra to make sure he would see to your demands," she scoffed, an obvious hurt in her voice and unwavering need to get answers. "You intimidated him, made sure he knew you didn't feel he was competent. Then you influenced him with money as your last resort."

"Aria," Byron began, but he was cut off.

"I'm not done. How does it feel to use the power of money to make sure any chance at a life your daughter has dreamed of is gone? How does it feel to use money as a tool to get your way? And how do you go about destroying something so perfect because of your own wants?" She paused, but only for a quick moment.

"And I still think about that night I came to you, crying and heartbroken. You had nothing but criticism to give me and a smack in the face with 'I told you so.' You didn't fail to use the chance to belittle me either. And you were the reason all along that I lost the best part of me. For three months, you watched me suffer. You think you were doing me a favor, but I'd been trying to explain to you for the past three years that the only favor I wanted from you was for you to finally accept Ezra and I and the role he was going to have in my life," she said, her words harsh.

Tears formed in her eyes and stung them as she finished. "What exactly made you think 5,000 dollars was worth more than me being happy and in love? Just because you never were doesn't mean I shouldn't have it." Her voice cracked from forcing back tears and trying to keep sadness from being evident in her voice, even though her sorrow was clearly already written all over her face.

Byron had nothing to say as he recovered from the words his daughter had just said. But as he processed what was said, Aria interrupted, making it impossible for him to find his voice.

"I don't even want an answer because it won't be worth hearing. It's not going to change a thing. I just want to know why you can't seem to find it in you to want me to be happy." Tears streamed as she said what was on her mind, expressing the true emotions she felt to her father, and realized the truth behind her last statement. How could a father fight his own child at every chance to keep her from being happy?

Aria stared at him and finished, "I've never been so disappointed to call you my father." She sniffled and wiped the rest of the tears from her face that had managed to escape. She hated him for making her cry.

She shot him a harsh look, her eyes acting as daggers, but the rest of her face was soft and in a seemingly mixed state of shock and heartbreak. The tense air around them remained that way, even though her facial features subsided into a delicate, broken expression and her body began to feel weightless, as if she could collapse from her overwhelming and relentless emotions barging down the carefully constructed walls she had put up to protect herself. She didn't want to breakdown in front of her father and let her emotions flood over her. She didn't want to be weak in front of him, even though he'd been the one to make her that way.

Aria's mouth quivered from trying to keep from crying again, but her vision was clouded by the forming tears. She bit her lip to hold them back, but suddenly, she was sobbing heavily, feeling stressed, used, frustrated, and worn down.

Byron stood from his chair and stepped toward her, wanting to reach out and comfort her but she backed away from him, wanting to keep a comfortable distance between him and her, especially because she was in such a vulnerable state.

Her sobs broke out into loud cries and yells. "What did I do so wrong to you that you have to take away everything good to ever happen to me?! You're always trying to take away the best parts of me! Why don't I deserve to be happy?! What did I do to you?!" she begged for his answer, pleading with her tear-filled eyes for a justifiable answer. But as she finished, her voice softened to a near whisper, "What did I do so wrong to you?"

Her face seemed to have lost its harshness, anger seemingly fading to complete sadness and despair. She was desperate for him to explain himself. "Why don't you believe in what I want?" she said. "Why?" she continued to ask in a soft-spoken manner through her tears.

No answer.

Byron just looked down, swallowing her words and the questions that he had no answer for.

Aria looked at him in disbelief and shook her head slightly, knowing nothing would come of what she'd said. She sighed deeply to let out the emotions that had been building up and turned around to leave. She walked out of her father's office and into a world without him. It didn't feel any different to her though because, as she left him to his thoughts, she realized she'd always been without a father.

Aria sat on her couch in silence, staring straight ahead with thoughts racing and numerous emotions gripping her, their tight hold unwavering. She was stuck in a state of loss, unable to redirect her thoughts and pry herself away from the grief she felt of about her own personal search for forever. She reminisced over its meaning and supposed sacredcy. She herself was once a true believer in the power it seemed to hold, but found herself doubting its presence. She couldn't understand the interest and influence it had seemed to hold over people since the beginning of time. She realized that nothing was forever and felt like it was a promise made to be broken.

She was whisked from her thoughts by a pounding at the door. She didn't move or flinch, didn't look anywhere but straight ahead. She wanted to ignore the hollow, repetitive knocking that grabbed her attention, but couldn't.

She quickly grew annoyed with the unrelenting sound and sighed heavily, unwillingly pushing herself up onto her feet and dragging herself to the door without haste. She hoped the insistent knocking would stop before she got there and she'd find the person behind the pounding would be gone before she got to the door. She wasn't ready to see anyone, didn't have the mental capacity or capability to carry on a conversation.

But as she opened the door, she felt a mix of emotions: relief that she saw Ezra's face, a sign of comfort and ease, but then anger took over, his face seeming to be the picture of betrayal.

He didn't let her say anything before stepping over the threshold and pushing through the doorway, grabbing her face and cupping it in his hands, kissing her with a steady stream of passion.

Aria thought to pull away for an instant, but it felt good and right to be there with him, so instead, she deepened the kiss and pulled him closer, wrapping her hands around his neck.

His tongue asked for entrance and they pushed themselves further down into the apartment. He closed the door, using his foot to swing it shut so he wouldn't have to separate himself from her. They made their way down the hall, lips interlocked in intoxicating kisses.

Aria pulled away hesitantly, looking up at him. She slowly released his shirt from her grasp and stepped back, leaving a small distance between them as she caught her breath and realized how easily she'd given in and how much she regretted doing so.

"Aria," he said, his voice soft and laced with concern.

"No," she said simply, with a certain harshness in her tone. "Don't." She wasn't ready to hear his excuses.

Ezra ignored her request, whispering. "I don't know how to be me without you." Sadness swept over his face, his emotions easy to read and etched in his expressions. "I've never been able to love someone like I have you."

Aria felt the same way but wanted to deny it. She looked down, shaking her head in refusal. "W-we can't go back," she said, her voice shaking. She met his gaze, tears forming as she spoke. "How can you expect me to be okay?" The tears that formed began to trail down her cheeks and she quickly looked away from Ezra, not wanting to show her weakness and reveal the vulnerable state she was in.

But Ezra couldn't let her go. Wouldn't let her go.

He lifted her face, his fingers under her chin. He wiped her tears with his thumbs and saw the sadness lingering in her eyes. It was a kind unlike the others he'd seen come and go. It was a sadness that stemmed from heartbreak.

His own eyes filled with tears as he examined her and found traces of a broken woman.

"Ezra," she said gently. "D-don't cry." She grabbed the hand that held her chin up and cradled it in her own.

"Aria," he breathed out. "I made a mistake. But a financial gain was not what I wanted out of leaving you. I wanted you to have a chance at something better than what I could provide. I thought that was what you deserved. And I told myself that if there was a chance I was holding you back from getting to where you wanted to go, I couldn't—wouldn't—allow myself to keep you from getting there and reaching your full potential," he explained. "I wasn't going to be selfish and keep you to myself."

"Who are you to make that choice for me?! Haven't you ever considered that," she paused, taking a deep breath. "…that, when I'm with you, I _have _reached my full potential?" A small, practically minuscule, reassuring smile appeared on her face, making her eyes gleam and face brighten in the slightest bit, but it soon lost its glow. "I can't live like this though, Ezra."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"It's so foolish for me to keep holding onto this when it feels like fate is against us at every turn. We're destroying our own love and we're letting my dad help."

"No, Aria," he said. "I'm done letting go of you so easily."

She just looked at him, trying to decide how to react.

Ezra stepped closer towards her, wanting to reach out to the broken girl he saw in her.

Aria didn't stop him or step back and try to keep distance between them, but instead, she just looked down.

He came closer until she could feel his breath run down her neck.

One hand found hers while the other gently held her face as he peered down at her and lifted her face to meet his.

She let out a shaky breath of her own as she starred up at him, his blue eyes seeming magnetic.

Tension.

Sexual in nature.

She pressed her lips against his in an instant, leaning into him and giving into her desires. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into her, a deepening and satisfying series of kisses ensuing between them.

Ezra wrapped his arms around her lower torso, just above her waist and pulled her closer.

The two were acting as one, Aria not unlocking her lips from his as she began to walk backwards. She kept him close, unwilling to separate herself from their moment of shared intimacy as she led him into her bedroom. She stood by the bed, unwilling to stop or slow down to think about where it was all going. All she knew is that she wanted him and was done resisting temptation. She began pulling his button-up dress shirt out from its secure place in his pants and unbuttoning his shirt as Ezra's own hands trailed under her shirt and along the skin of her upper torso.

As he was beginning to pull Aria's shirt over her head and she finished unbuttoning his, he stopped, breathing heavily and asking, "Are you sure?" He knew he wanted every part of her to be his again, but he also wanted to make sure the feeling was mutual before they continued.

Aria nodded quickly and quietly, it acting as an unspoken yes. She slipped her tongue into his mouth, not wanting to stop before she could be with him in a way she'd been desperately wanting to. This was the most intimate and deep state of their love and she was done holding back and keeping her desires under control. Everything in her screamed for him as a thin layer of sweat lay over her body. She pulled him in even more, deepening the kiss and pressing her body against his. She pushed his shirt off his shoulders to reveal his muscular torso and arms that held her tightly against him.

Ezra let Aria finish pushing his shirt off of his arms before pulling her top over her head.

Their warm skin touched, electrifying their intense need for each other.

Each caressed the other's body in ways they had done before, but with a new kind of desire holding its influence over them.

There was no going back.

Ezra pushed her back onto the bed, a flirty smirk on her face and her dark, rich brown hair sticking to the subtle layer of sweat over her body. He leaned over her and she pulled him into a deeper kiss, patience leaving her as she pressed her mouth on his and moved their bodies closer together.

Aria's hands found their way to his pants, pulling his lower body on top of hers and finding his belt, her fingers desperately trying to unbuckle it as it still held his pants on. She was able to remove it from its place around his waist and she quickly unzipped his pants, pushing them off of him.

He pressed his lower body on hers even more, teasing her and testing her increasing amounts of temptation.

A deep moan escaped from her and her hands wrestled in his hair, her fingers tangled in his locks as she began feeling hints of overwhelming satisfaction.

He began moving gently down her lower body, his pressed up against hers and moving in unison with her hips. Their pants weren't off yet, but the sensation was still there, a reminder of how close they could be and how much they could become one.

Ezra's hands trailed up her back as he kissed her already-revealed stomach and worked on unclasping the thin, black lace bra she had on. When he did remove it and her upper body was completely exposed, he moved along her torso, covering it with kisses.

He then moved down to her legs, Aria's fingers still intertwined in his hair. The covers were pulled over their bodies and she watched him travel over her body from under the blankets. He moved to a position in between her legs, kissing the areas right by her most intimate place and source of satisfaction. He sucked on her skin, a series of moans coming from her mouth. He then worked on pulling off the last piece of clothing she had on: her lace panties.

As he removed her intimates, she took the opportunity to remove his boxers.

Ezra trailed up along her body with intoxicating kisses and occasionally sucked on her skin before he reached her lips.

A steady, passion-filled series of kisses replaced the groans and their kisses quickly turned into a steamy make-out session as they lay naked together. Soon enough though, they were one once again and each felt just as complete as they had during previous times of in their relationship and when they'd experienced intimacy in the most private way.

Making love felt just as right as ever.

Everything made perfect sense as they realized that this was how love was supposed to feel and all the fights they had put up to keep their relationship from falling apart were worth it because in this moment, interlaced and reminded of the love they shared, they were infinite and there was a forever for them.

**Ezria sex...what? lol You're welcome for giving you what Marlene hasn't in a really long time (what a bitch but I mean, hey...4x14) and hopefully I made up for last chapter's upset!**

**K well, thank you for reading and I couldn't be more grateful for the chance I've gotten to know such amazing people that have supported my story! I have over 100 reviews and I'm completely blown away that I've gotten such a wonderful response! Y'all's love is really something remarkable and I just thank you from the bottom of my heart for the kindness you've shown towards me! I'm always so excited to post new pieces for y'all and I seriously look forward to your feedback, no matter if they're good or bad (even though you never seem to disappoint with overwhelmingly sweet comments)! Having you guys brightens my day and your positive influence over my life is truly remarkable! You all never fail to bring me happiness and I so appreciate all you do for me! I love you to endless amounts :)**

**Muah! XO- Halle****  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day.**

_"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."_

Life continued for Aria and Ezra in a new way. There was a renewed sense of the love they shared and both were very much looking toward a future together in their own ways. Each found comfort in their own hopes for the life they would live and what they had seemed to restore faith in their relationship and in each other.

When they laid together at night in bed, a warm sense of their love washing over them and blanketing them in comfort, their bodies close and their legs intertwined underneath the thin, cold sheets, each found themselves drifting to their own thoughts. Ezra thought of the day and how stressful it had been to try to settle high schoolers who were much too excited for the weekend, but he also found himself thinking of the sweetest parts of his day, when he was able to see Aria's bright, welcoming smile and was greeted by her kiss.

Aria would think of all the assignments she had due and the class lectures she'd managed to get herself through. An English degree was challenging and time-consuming, but when she found herself getting stressed and overwhelmed by thoughts that seemed to occupy her mind all at once, she could feel Ezra's hand on top of hers as if he could feel her body tense up and see the thoughts that held a tight hold on her. Her relaxing thoughts were what eventually calmed her down and allowed her to find sleep: reliving moments with Ezra, imagining a rich, love-filled future with kids running around (three, to be exact) on a seemingly endless piece of land with lush, green grass and a white, two story house in the distance, along with a tire swing hanging off of a nearby tree. Their young children's sweet giggles were happy and free and it was a sound that made everything in her feel warm in ways nothing else could.

Nothing compared to the need Aria had to be a mother and she appreciated the mutual hope her and Ezra had to experience parenthood. _Together_. They'd always joked lovingly about the kids they pictures themselves having: Ezra's deep blue eyes and pronounced smile with Aria's dark brown hair and her framed round face, emphasized by her eyebrows. She could just picture her little girl, dressed in her Sunday best every day and with long brunette curls cascading down her back. She swore she could hear a small giggle, nearly identical to her own and sweet and innocent in its sound. She didn't care what her little boy looked like—a small replica of Ezra would be nice but she hoped to see flecks of herself in each of her children combined with the characteristics of Ezra.

"Aria?" Ezra asked, sitting on his brown leather couch that was still soft in the way good, worn leather was.

She came back to reality, pulling herself away from the future life she hoped to have. "Hmm?" she mumbled, blinking and meeting his gaze with her own. She stood at the kitchen island, hunched over across it. She had her hands wrapped around her warm coffee mug and she sipped delicately from it, steam still rising from its surface and the warmth comforting her face.

"What are you thinking about?" he questioned her, furrowing his brows with a small smirk on his face. "You've been like that for the past ten minutes."

She set her coffee down on the kitchen countertop and walked to Ezra, finding her place next to him on the couch while he graded quizzes. She wrapped her right arm around his neck, leaning her forehead against his cheek and pulling him close. She could smell his favorite cologne; it was him in every way. "Whatcha doing, Mr. Fitz?" she asked playfully. "Grading quizzes? Oh, I don't think I did very well on that. Is there any way I can make up the bad grade I probably got on it?"

He looked at her, smiling widely as a small laugh managed to escape. "That would not be very ethical of me, now would it? A student-teacher relationship? Hmm, a tempting offer, Miss Montgomery," he flirted back.

She continued on in her playful manner. "Mr. Fitz, since when is love tied into ethics?" she asked simply.

At this, he had nothing to say. Instead, he softly lifted her chin to meet his, kissing her lightly on the lips. He left a few pecks on her lips, smiling at her as he pulled away.

Aria pouted when his lips left hers. "Don't tempt me," she said. She leaned in again, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a deeper kiss, wanting for him to come closer.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, hypnotized by the steady pour of kisses they shared before Ezra reluctantly pulled away to get back to the work he had to get done. He didn't want to stop Aria's hands from tugging on his shirt and finding their way under it, caressing his skin with her soft, warm touch. He didn't want to stop his own hands from moving along her body, but forced himself to as he leaned away from the intoxicating kisses.

Aria looked confused, her eyebrows furrowed and a mixture of both disappointment and faint trace of hurt lingered on her face. "What?" she asked in a soft, quiet voice, feeling no longer at ease and pushing herself back from him a little bit to create distance that had seemingly disappeared in the middle of their make-out session.

"Aria," he said in a gentle, low tone of voice while he reached for her hand. "It's not you and it's not that I don't want to be intimate, but I can't be when I have all this work to do. I just need to finish grading the last two periods' papers," he explained to her as he rubbed the top surface of her hand with his thumb.

She nodded. "Alright," she replied reluctantly. She pushed herself up from her position on the couch and stood for a minute before deciding to go. "I guess I'll be back a little bit later." She began shifting, walking to grab her possessions, but Ezra stood up quickly and pulled him into her before she got too far away from his reach.

"Please, don't go," he whispered.

She smiled feebily up at him. "I'll be back, I promise. This way, you can have some time to yourself and I can go run a few errands. Besides, I need to go talk to my boss. I haven't worked in forever and he's been asking me to stop at the bookstore so that he still knows I'm alive for himself. I just don't want to be hauled up in here all day," she reassured him. She paused briefly though before continuing. "We've been spending a lot of time together lately and I don't want you to think I'm suffocating you. Brief time alone used to do us good." She took his hand in his. "I'll see you at 5, ok?"

He sighed and nodded, complying with her request.

Aria found herself walking to the same coffee shop she'd walked with Ezra to countless times on morning caffeine runs, their hands in each other's and a mixture of talking and laughing following them to their destination.

She walked in and ordered her usual and, though it had been three months since she'd gone there last, they got it right and told her how happy they were to be able to start seeing her and Ezra together again. She smiled at this thought because she really was finally feeling traces of happiness that lingered throughout her days and engulfed in a state of bliss, making her feel like she was falling in love for the first time all over again.

As she sat down at in a chair next to the large windows that took the place of a wall in the front of the café, she settled into her book. The sounds of the café seemingly blended into a continuous ruckus in the background, but Aria was finding herself in the depths of her book and these noises became a constant, barely-noticeable and faded hum.

But as she began to find herself fading into the story, she felt a body looming over her and the direction of the draft change. She looked up to find a pair of hazel eyes examining her, like they'd done previously before in this same spot in this same café.

"Jake," she whispered, her lips curling into a small smile. She dropped her book into her seat and quickly pushed herself up from her seat and into his welcoming arms. She hugged him tightly, his embrace a sweet remembrance of the tale that time can begin to heal wounds.

He was an old friend, a good one too. He never let her settle for anything she didn't deserve and she had begun to lean on him throughout adolescence and far into her teen years. But after high school, when he'd made his way to California to explore the Golden State and give his mind a chance to free itself from the debilitating reality that Rosewood never failed to remind him of: his mother's passing from what seemed to be an endless battle with breast cancer. He was looked at as a wounded solider, pitied and treated as if he was fragile. He was anything but fragile, with a selfish father who drank heavily to avoid feeling the impact of the loss of his wife and years of watching his dad treat his mother with such disrespect.

Jake had watched his mother go from a beautiful middle-aged woman with dark brown, naturally-curled hair cascading down her back and a beaming smile that had its own gravitational pull to a worn-down woman who worked up meek smiles to reassure him and everyone else that she would be okay. She tried to stay positive, assure people she would recover, but they all knew, and she did too, that life had dealt her a card she wasn't prepared for and that she was getting beat by cancer. Her name was Audrey and everything about her radiated beauty. Her laugh, Aria imagined, was the actual sound of angel and Aria saw her as a saint, always inviting her openly into her home and having small talks with her, where they both became quite acquainted with each other.

She always remembered her encouraging ways, when Audrey would speak to her with such kind, sincere words: "Find someone that makes you happy, Aria. You're your own person and someone will appreciate that, treasure it even. You're an old soul and you deserve to find that in another person, or at least someone who can love that part of you. Remember: life without love is no life at all, so don't spend your time becoming bitter over your parent's mistakes or the childhood you lived. Instead, turn it into a passion to create something wonderful for yourself. You deserve that at least." Then Audrey would smile and Aria saw someone who truly found her to be worthwhile.

And, perhaps, the most meaningful words Audrey had said to her one day when Aria found herself sobbing and weak in front of the strong woman she so admired, "You will be someone's world. You are already very much a part of mine." Aria remembered a rush of fresh tears coming from her already-blurry, stinging eyes and she felt embarrassed by her cries, but she was so touched by Audrey's kind approach. She felt her skin flush from the flattery behind this comment and she hugged Audrey tightly without thinking much before pulling her into a warm embrace.

Aria remembered the admiration Jake had had for his mother and the sad loss he felt when she'd died, leaving a substantial mark on not only him, but her as well. She had begun to see Audrey as a sort of second mother and her death created a void she wasn't expecting in her. Her heart went out to Jake, who seemed paralyzed by an overwhelming grief after her death, even though he knew it was only a matter of time.

Aria was brought back to the current moment at the café, suddenly being thrusted back from the memories that had revisited her.

She pulled away from the hug she remained in, smiling brightly up at him. She took his face in her hand, gently rubbing her thumb on his cheek. "How have you been?" she asked softly.

"Surviving," he said, managing a shaky chuckle that, in truth, showed the sincerity behind his statement.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

At this, they sat down at a table near where they stood and began talking about the lives they'd lived in the months they'd been apart.

Aria remembered discretely when she'd met her breaking point after trying to hold it together and keep her emotions in check after her breakup with Ezra. Jake had come in for a quick weekend trip to help his father move homes, regardless of the obvious tension between the two of them that seemingly couldn't be repaired after years of seeing his father drink heavily and cheat on his mother, who still managed to stay with him. He never understood why someone so beautiful could have ended up with someone so useless. His father seemed to only bring her down, but his mother saw the marriage through and refused to give up on her husband.

When Jake had come back, Aria decided to reach out to him. Jake had never been happy about the situation, considering Ezra had been their English teacher during their senior year of high school. He preached endlessly about morals and ethics and that their relationship wasn't healthy or acceptable, but Aria had made it clear that she wasn't looking for his opinion and had finally found someone who was her world and seemed to possess the traits she had been looking for. She didn't care what he thought of their relationship because she'd finally found someone who she could see a future with.

After thirty minutes of managing to avoid the topic of Ezra and making small talk with one another, Jake finally asked what had been on his mind.

"Are you, uh," he said before pausing and clearing his throat. "Still broken up with Ezra?"

Aria looked at him for a moment, then shook her head slightly. "We've been back together for a little while now."

Jake leaned back in his chair, a trace of disappointment on his face. There was an obvious mixture of displeasure and discomfort in his voice as he said, "Oh."

"Jake…" she said, as if pleading for him to be able to understand.

For a few moments, they sat in an awkward and tense silence.

"You see," he began. "I don't understand."

"I don't expect you to," Aria snapped back.

The two felt the same kind of silence descend over them moments before, but this time it stayed longer as the words they'd exchanged sunk in.

Jake finally decided to break the silence, clearing his throat harshly and spoke, "Are you happy?" He paused, then finished hesitantly, "...with him?"

A small smile formed across Aria's face, acting as an unspoken answer by itself, but she added, "Yes, I really am."

Saying this, she could feel it. She felt like she had found the happiness she'd had before once again and, when she said that she was happy, she actually meant it. There was no faking, no hesitation when admitting her happiness and contentment with the status of her relationship with Ezra and the direction her life seemed to be taking.

In Aria's mind, there was nothing quite like being in love.

**TADA, Chapter 16!**

**I'm so sorry that it's been a week since my last post! With school getting underway and having a busy work schedule, I have barely had time to breathe, let alone focus on my stories! But I'm constantly thinking about how to enhance the storylines and new stories to write! I've actually been working on future chapters, so hopefully I will be able to get on track with posting 2x a week :) **

**On another note: I'm a broken record, but I'm so unbelievably thankful for you all. I'm so flattered by your guys' kindness, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I could never adequately express my love for you all and I am so very grateful for each of you. Your positive words blow me away and the support you guys give me is such a blessing and I am so lucky to have such amazing readers/friends. :) **

**Much love XO- Halle**

**P.S. Yes, a Jake exists in this story, but trust me, he has nothing on Ezra. ;) **


	17. Chapter 17

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day. **

___"When your soul finds the soul it was waiting for, when someone walks into your heart through an open door. When your hand finds the hand it was meant to hold, don't let go. Someone comes into your world, suddenly it has changed forever." _

Aria and Ezra both found themselves in a pleasurable and reminiscent state of bliss, revisited by the comfort they once knew from previous times in their relationship. Each had suffered in their own ways trying to cope with their short-lived break up and there was no doubt that either had forgotten about the depths of sadness felt during their time apart. But, regardless of the lingering reminders of the pain each had felt while separated, they both recognized that that part of their lives was over and they looked to the future like they had often done in their three year relationship, rekindling the sureness of a future together and planning for what lie ahead.

In a way, the two had seen their own love story play out before them, including several plot twists and strains, though still able to recognize the sweet moments that kept them together all along, that made their story worth telling. It seemed to follow that of one found in movies, portrayed by Hollywood and seemingly unrealistic, but when Aria thought about how far they'd come and the series of defining moments for them, a combination of both exciting and tragic, that tested their relationship since the beginning, she truly saw the potential in a life with Ezra.

Before, she'd always assumed that they would end up together, considering the mutual and well-understood feelings each had for the other, but she began to feel sure of it in a new way: there was no unsureness or weariness and the idea of marriage had regained its luster.

She'd find herself reminiscing over the happy times in her life, seemingly to only find Ezra there consistently, as if his lingering brought about pleasantness. Her childhood had been something she'd rather forget, a time she considered to be wasted as her youthful years were filled with bitterness from her parents that rubbed off on her and a deepening resentment for having to give up the only childhood she was given, unable to soak up the sweetness of being young and carefree and experience the innocence childhood promised, but Ezra ignited those giddy feelings of bliss and happiness in her.

Aria could distinctly pick out moments of impact that shaped and defined where she was now. From the decision to remove herself from the household she'd grown up in, disassociate herself from her past, and the work she put into getting herself into Hollis so she could be experience success and find independence in her future, she saw these moments as nothing compared to meeting Ezra.

She could still remember the pleasure she felt in meeting and getting to know him. She was so sure that she felt something that resembled a crush, but wanted to deny it influence because the last thing she wanted was to be that dumb girl who fell for that one guy—she didn't want to be her mother. But, eventually, she didn't care if she was the dumb girl because she wanted so desperately to be in love and feel connected in ways she hadn't been to another person before. It was a need she hated but everything in her desired and craved to feel what she never had throughout her childhood: a sense of belonging. With someone. To someone.

When she analyzed the happy times of her life, she saw Ezra there. At all her proud moments, he seemed to be even prouder. When she was excited, his excitement exceeded her own. When she found herself happy, he was too, but in bigger ways. And when she found herself hurt or sad or lost in the past, he brought her back to reality with his soft touch and light kisses. He promised to be the better half of her and that was exactly what he was, feeling everything that she did but seeming to feel it with much more intensity.

Ezra even found himself unable to control the stream of thoughts he had of her during the day, when he wasn't teaching about literature and the importance of works and terms in literacy. He sat at his desk, often lightly tapping his red checking pen against the growing stack of papers on his desk the seemed intimidating to him because he knew fully the foolish answers that they'd written in an attempt to try to convince him they'd done the course work and understood the material when, in all actuality, they were barely able to make comprehendible sentences.

That week though, Ezra couldn't make his way home to Aria until late in the evening, when he was finally released from parent conferences Rosewood High held for a week once a semester. While he was visiting with parents, Aria would be studying relentless in the library in preparation for mid-terms. All that week they had not seen one another and had only managed to make quick phone-calls throughout the day during their breaks.

On Thursday night though, Aria decided that, instead of hitting the library, she would pay a quick visit to Ezra because not seeing him had made her week seeming to drag on.

There was a knock at Ezra's back classroom door, which distracted him from the work that lay ahead of him that he would do in between meeting parents and thinking about Aria and anxiously waiting to see her. At the sound of the repetitive pounding, his eyes shot up, startled.

Aria opened the door and popped her head in, smiling widely at him.

"Hello, Mr. Fitz," she said in a flirtatious tone, walking into the room with a bag of food in her hands and pulling the door shut behind her.

She began to make her way towards where he now stood from behind his desk, excited to greet him properly. She set the food down on his desk, spreading her arms as if to advertise and show what she'd brought him. "For you, Mr. Fitzgerald," she said. But she was quickly pulled in closely by Ezra for a long, comforting and much-needed hug. She then looked up at him and smiled, her face beaming and radiant.

Ezra smiled back at her, just as pleased to see her as she was to see him. He pecked her lips several times before he heard her begin to laugh. He pulled a few pieces of hair away from her face and rested his hand against her left cheek. He simply looked at her for a few moments and a small, toothless smile formed on his face.

"I've missed you," she said simply, her voice soft.

"I've missed you too," Ezra mutually assured her. He quickly looked at the food she'd brought for him that lay on his desk. "You know, you didn't have to do that," he said, motioning his head towards the bag of food.

"I know," she replied, her hands trailing up and down Ezra's arms, smoothing over his soft skin exposed on his forearms and over the fabric of his dress shirt. "I wanted to though."

Ezra proceeded to barely kiss her nose and grin down at her, his expression beaming with a certain satisfaction and pleasure in seeing her and the adorable ways she went about her daily routines without even realizing the gravitational pull she seemed to have.

A parent walked in just as the two were finishing up with their goodbyes (kisses and all), the mother clearing her throat as to make it known that she was there and had seen the two.

Aria immediately stepped back from Ezra, wide-eyed and slightly red from embarrassment. She worked up a small smile for the woman, knowing it wouldn't do much to change anything, except for maybe making Ezra's experience with her a little less tense and not as grueling. Aria then dropped her other hand from his grip, glancing up at him for a quick moment before mouthing "goodbye" in a private fashion, as to be careful to not draw any more attention to herself or the situation that had just occurred before leaving the room.

/

Later that evening, when Ezra came home early from a slow night of parent meetings, Aria was sitting on the couch, studying with the relaxing music in the background she always listened to when she was working. But immediately, once the door opened, she put her stuff aside and went to the music player to turn down the volume, seemingly embarrassed.

"Hey," she said, "I-I didn't think you'd be home so early. T-They're doing a bunch of construction at the apartment and won't be done until a little later so I was just going to get some studying done here...I was hoping that's okay."

Ezra nodded, a small grin on his face. "It's okay, Aria. You know you can come any time you want." He made his way to the small chair that sat in front of his work desk and put his things down. "I'd just prefer if I was here when you were, so I could shower you with kisses," he said, moving towards her.

Aria blushed slightly, sliding her hands into her jean pockets. She cleared her throat before hesitantly asking, "S-So how did parent-teacher conferences go?" She was indirectly asking the question that had been on her mind the whole night.

Ezra just shook his head slightly, a small grin noticeable on his face. "You were clearly embarrassed," he chuckled, but when he saw her devastated face, he took on a more serious tone and worked to comfort her. "Aria, it didn't affect anything. I've had that woman's children for three years now. She was actually happy to see you beyond the photos. She said that you were beautiful and looked 'lovely.' She was glad to see a glimpse of you after knowing me for a little while now and she said she was always curious to see the girl that had 'captured my heart.'" He smiled at her in a loving manner, then looked down and leaned his body back a little, his feet not moving from their place on the ground, as he waited patiently for her to say something.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Really though, I shouldn't have come and…I just don't want a parent who's not as understanding to bring it up and get you into trouble," she tried to explain.

But there was no need.

Ezra said, in a sort of demanding way, though his voice was still low and laced with a sweetness and sincerity, "Don't apologize. You don't have to."

/

The two took their familiar positions on the couch and sat in a comfortable silence. Ezra read a book, as to not to distract Aria from her own reading and work to prepare for the seemingly endless exams and essay due dates approaching.

"So," Aria began after a while, when she found herself unable to concentrate on her work and thinking about Ezra, who sat closely next to her. "I was thinking…it's been a long week for the both of us and I thought the perfect way to make up for not seeing each other much was a weekend hauled up in my apartment, just you and me," she said, smiling and anxiously awaiting a "yes."

Ezra nodded immediately, a large grin appearing. "Okay," he said without any hesitation or reservations. But quickly, he wanted to recant his answer because he had something else better in mind: a weekend getaway for the two of them to a place just outside Philadelphia he'd always told her about. "But I have a better idea," he said quickly.

Aria looked at him confused, her head tilted slightly to her left and her expression mirroring her inability to recognize what he meant. "What do you mean?" she asked, curious to know what he had in mind.

He pulled her legs over his knees, wrapping his arms around her and caressing her soft skin with his touch. "What do you say to a weekend trip up to that town I always used to tell you about," he said, grinning wildly. "I know my way around there and I could should chauffeur you to all my favorite places, including the little bed-and-breakfast I'd always stay at." He sure put up a good argument, but he didn't need to influence her to go because she was already anxiously awaiting the chance she'd get to go up to the small town he'd always talked about, instantly lighting up whenever he'd think of the weekends he would spend with his grandparents away from the rich lifestyle that awaited him whenever he'd go back to New York.

She lit up, signaling her approval of his proposal. "Okay!" she said excitedly, smiling up at Ezra and leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips in a sort of teasing manner. But before she could pull away, Ezra pulled her closer and leaned into her even more, his hand at the back of her head and fingers intertwined between her locks of dark brown, silky hair.

After a series of passionate kisses, Aria's left arm draped around his neck and clenched his shirt in between her fingers, Ezra pulled away, grinning down at her. He pecked her nose, then moved to her lips, where he laid a few more light pecks of intimacy. Soon though, she was giggling wildly from the continuous repetition of kisses.

Ezra stared at her for a moment while she laughed, her head thrown back and her hair flowing, cascading down her back. Her laugh was angelic, charming, loud, and contagious and it was his favorite sound to hear and favorite sight to watch. She seemed to be free and in the midst of a moment of happiness.

After her laughing fit, she noticed him staring at her, studying and examining her state of bliss. "What?" she asked playfully. When he didn't answer, but instead just smiled like love-struck boy at her, she lightly punched him to catch his attention and get an answer, asking again, "What?"

He put one hand around her back again and looked at her in a mesmerized manner. "You're so beautiful," he said simply and sweetly.

Aria let out another small, sarcastic giggle. "Ah, Mr. Fitz, you think flattery will get you laid."

Ezra blushed, looking down. "I prefer the word 'lucky,'" he said when he managed to look back up at her.

"You're very good at flattery, Fitzgerald," she said, moving her legs off of his knees, where they'd been resting for a while.

She made her way to his small, cozy kitchen and to the coffee maker, where she began to brew a fresh pot. She reached up into the cabinet, grabbing herself a mug and then turning to expect to see Ezra on the couch, in the same position he had been in, and beginning to ask, "Did you—?" before being startled by his appearance at her side.

He grinned at her, taking a position behind her and resting his chin on her shoulder with his hands on her hips. "Wow," he said after a moment. "I forgot how short you really are." He chuckled softly, knowing it would annoy Aria only a little bit and she would get slightly feisty.

She moved her left arm up and behind her, tapping him lightly on his cheek. "And this is when you should remember the reasons_ why_ you're not getting laid." She turned to face him, leaning her lower body against the counter top.

She grinned and laughed silently, moving past him to reach for a banana on the center island. She walked to the trash can located at one end of the center island and began to peel it, Ezra following her and ending up at her right side. She bit into it and, as she began to eat it, she looked at Ezra, who stared at her with a small smirk on his face.

"I'm sure I look really attractive right now," Aria said in a barely audible mumble because of the banana still in her mouth and her hand covering it. She tried not to giggle, but failed, beginning to laugh softly and struggle to not choke.

Ezra chuckled and soon, he felt banana smashed on his mouth and nose. Suddenly, he stopped laughing and stared in surprise at her while she laughed loudly and freely.

"You…have…banana…on…your…face…" she said in between in her laughs.

Ezra licked the banana from around his mouth and smiled at her in a way that suggested karma approaching. Soon, he'd taken her wrist and pointed the banana in her hand towards her own face.

"Ezra!" she shouted. "You ass!"

But he wasn't phased—he just grabbed her face between his hands and looked at her in the way he always did, then pecked her nose and kissed her lips.

She giggled through the kisses and tried to be mad and fight back the abundance of pecks he left on her lips, but she couldn't push him away. Instead, she pulled him closer, tightly grasping the sides of his shirt in between her fingers and leaned in to the sweet kisses.

"Maybe you _will _get lucky," she mumbled into the kisses after a few minutes of staying in Ezra's arms with a continuous stream of gentle kisses reminding her of how in love she was with him and this moment.

**Hey y'all :) Chapter 17 is _finallllly _here after a whole month of not posting! **

**September was an extremely emotionally exhausting month and that's the reason I've been semi-hiatus from tumblr and not updating the stories. I was hesitant to tell you guys about what was happening when it was happening because I didn't know myself how everything was going to turn out and I wanted it to be "over with" when I told y'all about it so that I could adequately fill you in and also process it for myself without resounding opinions from people about it. I needed to be alone with myself and my thoughts and so I stopped writing for about two weeks and really fell into a deep depressive episode. I wanted to explain to you guys why I was gone because I was getting questions, but I wasn't ready and I wanted to be completely ready to talk about it when the time came and then there also wouldn't be a bunch of pity because it's already passed and, ya know...I needed to take time for myself. **

**So, since we've last talked, I've begun my eating disorder treatment and it's been overwhelming but I am already _so_ proud and I honestly am sometimes so close to tears when I think about all the things that have started to change - that _I_ have started to change - and how empowered I feel because of it. But the big event of the month that sent me for a loop was the call my mom got at 12 AM on a Thursday morning. My brother attempted to commit suicide and I was paralyzed. That's all I can really describe it as - unable to feel anything besides pain and deep sadness and I felt guilty because my brother and I haven't had a good relationship most of my life and we've been in a bad place for a while now. I felt like it was my fault and like my parents weren't there for me in the sense that they kind of neglected me and made me feel like I really was at fault to some degree. I really just shut down for a while and lost some fire in me and I feel like I've still lost some portion of me. He got kicked out of his college dorms and almost got kicked out of the university he's worked so hard to get into and dreamed of going to since he was a little boy. He's living with us until the spring semester and the school okays that he moves back into the dorms. He's working on himself and so am I. But September was truly a struggle. I appreciate you guys for staying with me though.**

**I looked at your guys' comments on my stories a lot when I felt down and I have so much love for you all, it's unreal. I feel like you guys understand me and that I can share these stories and I am just really thankful for you guys. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such gems to me. You're angels, I swear. You guys really saved me and you didn't even know it, but you recognizing that potential truly made me feel so special. I can't ever begin to express my gratefulness and how much I appreciate you all for sticking through this time of absence You guys are nothing but loving and supportive and _you are blessings_. Beautiful ones.**

**You make me happy and strong and proud and you are remarkable gifts.**

**- Halle **

**P.S. I hope you enjoyed the story...kind of got carried away with myself and forgot to say that! **

**Oh, and as always, please comment and tell me what you think of the story! I would prefer if you didn't leave pity in the comments about what happened because one of the reasons I waited so long to tell you all was because pity was what I really wanted to avoid, so please..I appreciate the kindness (I really, really do), but I don't want a pity party in the comments. I'm okay right now and that's what counts, right? :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day. **

_"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?"_

Aria and Ezra headed up to the destination they excitedly waited to arrive at on Friday afternoon, immediately after Ezra was released from the last set of parent-teacher conferences that had seemed to keep him away from Aria the whole week.

The two conversed the whole hour-and-a-half drive, with Aria leaned over and resting her head on Ezra's shoulder. She would occasionally lay a kiss on his cheek and peck his lips when he asked for more, teasing him and leaving him anticipating the night in a nice hotel, covered by soft sheets and intertwined together, being reminded of the love they shared and the intimacy that existed in their relationship, each having a desire to touch and be touched.

They arrived at the hotel and soon found their room, with Aria walking in and grinning wildly and glancing back at Ezra in approval. She dropped her things in the small hallway and walked into the suite.

"Ezra!" she said, excitement in her voice. But then she turned around, obviously uncomfortable.

"What?" Ezra asked, concern laced in his voice and evident in his facial expression.

"You didn't need to spend this much on a hotel for us. I mean, we both agreed that we like simplicity. I don't want you to feel like you need to spoil me," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist and peering up at him.

"Aria," he said softly, a small smile on his face. He brushed her hair away from her face and used his fingertips to prop up her chin. "Let me spoil you, okay?"

He leaned in to kiss her, but she avoided it, sighing. "Ezra, it's just not necessary. Please, I really—"

Ezra didn't let her finish before pressing his lips against hers, though not in a manner that was forceful, but rather, soft and gentle. He pulled away and smiled down at her, feeling relatively satisfied with his ability to shut her up for a moment.

Aria remained quiet, instead only staring up at him, with a seductive sort of grin growing on her face. "Ezra Fitz, I think I love you."

He just grinned back at her, admiring the girl he'd fallen for in every way possible.

/

"Oh, Mr. Fitz," she said under her breath as she trailed behind him, her hand interlocked in his, following the hostess to a table reserved especially for them towards a more private and secluded area of the restaurant.

The hostess left them with a simple "Enjoy your meal" and a small smile.

They stood in front of their table, Aria's eyes traveling around the place, looking around and examining the place. She knew it was expensive by its appearance: rich colors, beautiful paintings, dimly lit areas, and the furniture made out of oak shined. There were beautiful bouquets of flowers for décor and the restaurant gave off a comfortable warmth for people to bask in. And that was something else Aria noted right away; it was easy to see that the others here lived a life of luxury with high-end designers decorating their lives and money of no value.

"Ezra," she said in a low, soft tone. "What are we doing here? This is too expensive. You could've taken me to McDonalds and I would've been fine," she tried to assure him.

But he shook his head, a grin on his face as he grabbed her forearm and pulled her towards him, where she could be close. He had a light hold on her body and leaned in to reply in a whisper, "Don't worry about it, okay? I've got this."

She fought back, saying, "Not with a teacher's salary!" She paused for a moment, then sighed, continuing, "I just don't feel right about this. I don't want you to spend an outrageous amount of money for a nice night. You don't have to spend money for us to have a nice night. I mean, as long as we have a bed…" she trailed off, a small, flirtatious smirk on her face.

All Ezra did was whisper again in her ear, "Please. It's okay." His hand trailed along her back, caressing the back of her little black dress and gently rubbing his skin against the bare areas of her back that her dress didn't cover.

He had managed to lean in so close that Aria could feel his breath at the back of her right ear, sending tingles along her body and making her blush. She gave in, unable to resist the moves he put on her.

So they sat comfortably in a reserved, quiet area for just the two of them. Ezra charmed her with his smile and grace that she wished she could possess. She thought that it just wasn't fair—for being a man, he had more grace than she did. She watched him carefully, studying him like she'd done so many times before and remained captivated by every little detail: small movements, changes in the tone of his voice, the stories he told, and his child-like smile and handsome grin. It was so easy for her to love him and she continued to sit there, mesmerized by his unrelenting charm that never failed to reel her in and she remained taken by his ability to hold her attention so easily.

The night managed to slip by without either of them really noticing its fleeting existence.

Smiles lingered throughout the evening and they shared small amounts of wine and food and held long conversations, often ending in uncontrollable laughter. They reminisced over previous times they'd shared together, teased each other in the most loving way they knew, and each glowed in the ways they only could when they were with the other.

/

As the two lovers left, Aria wrapped her arm around Ezra's waist, leaning into him as they walked away from the restaurant and along the path to the boardwalk.

"That was completely and utterly unnecessary, Mr. Fitz," she reminded him as they walked at the same pace, leaning into each other.

"You know," Ezra replied, clearing his throat and allowing a small chuckle to escape. "Some people would just say 'thank you.'"

She looked up at him and he did the same. They managed to walk along without looking up from each other's stares, but eventually, Aria stopped, grabbing his forearm and holding onto it, bringing him to a halt and making him pivot back towards her unexpectedly.

She just stared up at him, then said simply and sheepishly, "Thank you." A small smile appeared on her face, showing her gratefulness for him.

Ezra nodded, smiling widely back down at her. "Miss Montgomery…said…thank you?" he teased, holding his hand to his ear and cupping it in a playful manner. "Can I hear that again?"

Aria punched him lightly on the shoulder, teasing him back. "Two can play at that game, Fitzgerald." She smirked and began jogging slightly ahead, not able to move very fast with heels that worked as more of a nuisance. "Fitzgerald!" she yelled. "Oh, Fitz-ger-ald!" she played, knowing that he was easily annoyed by the usage of his full last name.

"Aria!" he yelled back, quickly catching up to her as she giggled wildly. He was trying to wrap his hands around her and grab her, but she kept backing up and pushing his hands away while smiling widely and letting out light laughs. He couldn't help but smile because of the happy state she was in and, eventually, he was able to pull her close, though she tried to resist being held by him. He said to her though, "Just remember, that'll be your last name someday too."

At this, her giggles subsided and she stared up at him, her lips curving at the corners and forming a small grin. "What if I don't want that last name?" she asked.

Ezra's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

But she saved it just in time, not wanting to devastate him too much but still wanting to make him squirm. "I _much _prefer Fitz. Fitzgerald is just too long and it's not for me. I think it's too formal for someone who snorts," she teased.

Night had descended on the two and the fresh, cool breeze from off the water swept Aria's hair back and blew against her face, making her cheeks flush a slight shade of red from the chilly breeze of the night.

"What the _hell_ is he doing here?" Aria snapped.

Ezra stood in silence as he watched right along with Aria as Byron Montgomery came closer, the street lights slowly illuminating his facial features, making them positive it was him.

He came to a halt in front of them, a sort of hurt seeming to be stuck within the deep wrinkles that were beginning to set on his face.  
"Aria," he said in a soft, gentle tone.  
Aria looked up at her father with nothing to say.

She glanced over at Ezra and could feel the awkward tenseness quickly settling around them.

Byron continued, clearing his throat before saying in the same manner as he'd approached his daughter in. "Ezra," he said, nodding at him and acknowledging his presence in a civilized manner for what seemed like a very long time, if not the first.

Ezra was quick to reply back with a kind hello, seeming to disregard any previous encounters he'd had with unpleasant Bryon.

Ezra wasn't sure of how he felt about his father-in-law (ok- he was-he hated the bastard), but he wanted to try for Aria. He hated to be a driving force that kept her from the father she so desperately wanted to seek out in Byron. And if there was a chance that there could be some sort of civility between him and Byron, he was willing to forgive the past. He knew it was unfair to place him in an unfair place of giving up his daughter to an older man, but he wished he could find a way to accept they were without reservations. This is what true love felt like-so right-and he hated it feeling so wrong. The three of them would eventually have to find a way to mutually come to the understanding of what he and Aria were and boundaries were important to establish so there could wouldn't be any further misunderstandings.

"Byron," he replied, slightly motioning his head in a barely noticeable nod as if to let him know he was acknowledging him. It was a small step, but it was better than nothing.

Aria looked at Ezra in disbelief, seeming to be hurt by such a forward way of him greeting Byron after such a tumultuous past when Ezra's soft gaze met her own, she knew nothing had been forgotten. He was just trying to make some form of amends. She grabbed his hand and linked her fingers in his, tightly holding him close to her.

Byron looked at their intertwined fingers and firmly locked hands. His facial expression showed he'd noticed as a faint hint of disapproval became visible across his face. It quickly went away though and his eyes met theirs. Ezra wasn't going away, but seeing how perfectly content his daughter looked by his side was something he'd managed to ignore until now.

"I-I wanted to say hello," he said, obviously nervous to initiate a conversation he wasn't ready for.

"Hi," Aria said, pausing before continuing. "...Dad." It was a small, feeble word escaping shakily in a breath. But then she just looked at him for a moment, unable to know where to start and not knowing if she would be able to find an end when she did begin. So instead, she just tightened her hold on Ezra's hand and pulled her forward with her, dragging him a few paces behind her.

But before she could manage to get too far away from the situation that had unfolded there, he stopped her, bringing her to a halt and making her turn around to meet his glare. "Aria," he said softly.

"What?" she snapped back.

"Don't do this," he said simply, seemingly unphased by the harshness in her face and voice.

"Do what?"

"Walk away. That's what you watched him do your whole life and that would make you like him," he went on to explain.

_That would make you like him…_ This thought made her snap. "I am _not_ like him, Ezra. I will not _ever _be like him, so don't you _ever_ compare the two of us because you don't compare two things that aren't alike! And for you to have the audacity to say that is _mind-blowing_ to me." She paused, letting it sink in, but for a quick, passing moment, she let a rush of full-fledged anger speak for her without even thinking about her words but only a way to hurt him like he had her by comparing her and her father. "Especially because you're what caused everything to go to _complete shit_!"

She took in a breath, quivering and shaking, immediately regretting the words she'd said.

Ezra looked like a wounded animal and Aria just stared blankly at him, trying to force words to form and come from her mouth, but she was paralyzed for a moment until Ezra looked down, hurt in his stance.

"Wait!" she reached out for him, touching his forearm lightly. "You know I didn't mean it like that. You _know_ that, Ezra. That-that was just said out of anger and I'm sorry. _I'm really sorry._ You didn't deserve that and I didn't mean it. Believe me, okay? _Please, just_…_I didn't mean it,"_ she tried to explain.

Ezra swallowed the words, still appearing to be taken aback and hurt by Aria's sudden and unexpected harsh words.

Then, what Aria was waiting for, hoping for: he spoke. "Look, I know I really screwed things up for you two. I'm aware of that, but you took what I said out of context. All I want is for you two to be able to have a relationship and you've been secretly waiting for a chance to mend things, so here it is. It's right back there."

Aria shook her head lightly, refusing to go back to her dad and to make things right with Ezra. Her eyes were glossy from the tears beginning to form and causing her eyes to become red and swollen. Her voice cracked as she spoke from trying to hold back tears. "What I want it right _here_."

"I'm not so sure, Aria. And I don't think you are either if that's how you really feel," he explained simply.

"_Please_," she begged, tears beginning to steadily stream down her face. "I never meant it! It came out wrong and I-_I love you_. I've never been so sure of that before. You and me, what we had then and what we have now...all that we worked for…you have to know that. _Please_, Ezra, tell me you know that."

Ezra sighed, looking down and not responding or giving her any sort of insight into how he felt. But then he looked up and she could see the sadness lingering in his eyes, tears forming, and he replied, "I love you too."

And then he hesitantly walked past her, heading away from the direction she faced.

But she couldn't let go—wouldn't let go. She turned on her heels and kicked them off, running towards him to catch up. "Please!" she yelled, pleading for him to stop and slow down and listen.

He did stop, but didn't turn to face her. "I can't be the reason you and your dad never find the relationship you need with each other. I already feel guilty and, you may not think that you meant it, but when someone's emotions run high, that's when it all comes out and I can't hold onto you when you're holding on to that grudge and those feelings. I just won't."

And with that, he began walking again. He didn't want her to see his tears.

Aria cried out, using his own words against him, "Walk away. Even though it's what you told me you'd never do." And with that, the weight of the tension existing in the air around them, she fell to the floor of the boardwalk, sobbing heavily.

She couldn't hear Ezra's sudden sobs as he continued further into the distance.

She sat there, a sort of cold drizzle of rain beginning with the wind slightly picking up. After a few moments, through her sobs and pride, she looked back after hesitating to do so, expecting to see Byron. But he was gone too.

**...You guys hate me. I know, I know.**

**BUT, in my defense, I wrote this when I was really sad and inspired. I know that there's been a lot of drama since the beginning, but I want to create substance and drama because they have forever to be happy:) But really, I promise that there will be a good solid bit of Ezria feels coming up and hopefully you guys can keep with me until then! **

**I love you so much and thank you for sticking with me. You are truly wonderful to me in every way and I am grateful for that beyond words.**

**I actually kept it short this time (what the hell, i know...you guys always look forward to my ramblings).**

**-Halle**


	19. Chapter 19

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars (if I was, I'd be rich and there would be no Jake). All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL. I do wish I could claim the perfection that is Ezria as my own though because I would have them act out my favorite scenes all day, every day. **

_"So pretty, so smart, such a waste of a young heart."_

Aria began to turn to the power of vodka in the days following her and Ezra's unexpected break-up. She was living under the alcohol's influence once again and craved its irresistible spell that seemed to block out all the feelings that ensued after that night. She didn't want to think, so instead, found immediate but short-lived resolve and comfort in the hard, clear liquor flooding through her body, allowing her to drift further away.

Aria knew that temptation had sucked her in again, but this time, failed to work her way out of its grasp because it was the only thing that wanted to hold onto her. She could feel its bittersweet love as it burned going down her throat and she struggled to swallow it, but it followed by a sense of gratification and she became numb, blank, and able to rest easy and without worry as it rushed through her bloodstream.

At least, that's how it was at first, but it soon became a sort of bully and her body insisted that she stop with the impulsiveness of the behavior. But she couldn't because at least it could soothe her to sleep, comfort the heartbreak, and keep away the tears.

At least it wanted her.

She fought the days that loomed, though sunny and bright and causing a last bit of warmth to come through Rosewood before the cold really set in. The trees were beginning to turn a shades of orange and yellow after a long heat kept them green throughout the summer. But now they were free to die—they'd done their job and would soon fall from the tree, writhed and hard, making a crunch as children found amusement in stomping on them, like stomping on a dead corpse.

She felt like the leaves, used and now needing to be discarded of. It was a cycle that mother nature had put into place long ago and she even felt that love had its own cycle: amuse the two fools, watch them fall in love, and then rip it away ruthlessly. Aria had served her purpose, creating wreckage everywhere she went and she found it quite tragic that she had fallen into love's cycle once again, as if she hadn't learned the last time.

She sat up from her position on the couch, where she laid sprawled out for hours in a day, drifting between sleep and the reality she so desperately wanted to escape, her thoughts constant and unrelenting. She hoped that enough sleep would help her to avoid and escape the oppressive thoughts that kept her paralyzed and broken, but no amount of sleep could cure the tiredness she had begun to felt day-in and day-out.

In sleep though, she could at least find a small sense of peace, being visited by pleasant glimpses of easier times that had passed and imagined happiness with scenarios being dreamt up and created by her own mind.

But that day, she decided to leave the position she'd taken on the couch. She didn't know where to go, but she ended up at the door of Spencer and Toby's apartment.

Spencer looked at Aria, studying and examining the friend she'd been unable to reach for obvious reasons: she was a wreck.

"Spence," Aria said, pushing past her and entering the apartment. Aria turned back around to face Spencer as she closed the door, an apparent and ever-growing look of concern on her face, her eyes still remaining wide as she tried to take in the state in which she saw Aria. "Don't give me that look," Aria snapped. "I'm not a wounded animal for God's sake."

"I-I know that, Aria. B-But what the _hell_ has been going on?" Spencer asked, a certain harshness in her voice from the stress she'd experienced since she'd picked up Aria that night and driven her home. She had been sobbing heavily, her body shaking as she told Spencer how the night had gone so terribly wrong before she demanded to be dropped off at her apartment, reassuring that she would be okay. Spencer was anxious after making several attempts to contact her, but knew that time would see to it that Aria would be okay like she promised—time always seemed to be enough for Aria to start again.

Aria just stared back for a moment, then continued down the hall and into the living room of Spencer's apartment. It gave her time to think, replying, "I've been out of it, okay? I mean, there's not much to say. Ezra and I are obviously over and I can't stop thinking about the fuck-up I've become." She let out a heavy sigh and said, "I've been watching everything fall apart for so long and now it all really has."

"Aria—" Spencer tried.

"I just didn't think it was fair to you to bring you into all of this because what it is is a big mess and I'm just a big mess too," Aria said. "Who am I anymore? I always thought I could be more, but 'dreaming big' is a joke because the dreams I had _were_ too big and they crushed any hope I had left to be someone different than that scared and confused little girl I always was. Dreaming too big forced me to believe I could have something better than what I grew up with and that-that's a load of—"

The way she pitied herself struck a sudden nerve with Spencer, who wanted to be calm but couldn't stop herself from saying what she needed to in the heat of the moment, a certain degree of annoyance combining with all the worries and anxiety she'd had when Aria had suddenly stopped communicating. So she interrupted, upset fueling her words and blind-sighting her. "I'm sick and tired of you mopping around, Aria! Especially because you're the reason your life is the way it is—you're the one who can't get over your childhood, you're the one who upset Ezra, and you're the one that pushes everyone away because you can't love yourself, so you think why the hell would anyone else want to?!"

Spencer paused for a quick moment, but only continued on tangent: "Holy mother of God, you have to make sure everyone feels the pain that you do! Well dammit, I'm not letting you bring me into your tragic life story when there is so much beauty and potential around me to appreciate! You're too busy getting drunk that you've lost that sense of wonder that I admired in you! Everything I saw in you is wasting away like...like...I don't fucking know! And I never _not_ know!" Spencer snapped, her frustration at Aria demanding an outlet.

Immediately though, she felt awful for her outburst because she caught a glimpse of an Aria working tirelessly to keep herself together, unaware that she'd already been falling apart.

Wounded and fighting an onset of emotions from Spencer's hurtful words, Aria blurted, "Oh, I'm _so sorry_, Spencer! We can't _all _be perfect like _you_! We can't all resist temptation and not crack under pressure! We can't all be as holy as _you_." Her tone sharp at first, but slowly lost its edge as the mounting emotions built up.

And although her voice cracked, she took a deep breath and continued, "You really don't know me anymore, do you? Your life is falling so much into place that you've forgotten how it feels to watch it fall out of place." Sorrow lingered in her voice and she seemed completely perplexed and beside herself with what had been said between the two of them.

Spencer scoffed, upset by Aria's accusation that she didn't know her best friend anymore. "Dammit, Aria! I'm not asking for perfection! I'm just asking for a little bit of effort!" Spencer's harshness conveyed her frustration to get through to Aria.

The words stung though, coming out harsher than initially intended because of the unrelenting and persistent frustration Spencer felt.

Immediately, Spencer regretted having said something so headstrong in such a manner that her own shock was nothing compared to Aria's, which traced her facial expressions and showed the depths of the wounds her words had managed to cut.

But before Spencer could restart and attempt to re-explain herself, Aria spoke up, a sharp bitterness in her tone.

"It was an effort to get out of bed this morning and find the energy required to begin another day when I don't see a reason to leave my bed," she began. "For God's sake, I'm sinking in my own emotional waste! Everything I was so sure of is gone and every ounce of me wants to stop trying. But I make the effort to go just one more day because I'm foolish and hopeful. Don't you get that once I decide to stay in my bed, I'm afraid I won't get up again? And I finally decided to use the last bits of strength I have to resist the temptation to drink away all these feelings, so I turned to you, my best friend. But, instead, what I got was assurance to stay in bed and wilt away physically just like I already am mentally. But you wouldn't know how that feels, would you? Because Spencer's always so strong and poised and unrelenting in her need to succeed. You've never had to witness everything fall apart right in front of you with no way to do anything about it but just watch it crumble away to nothingness. You've never felt unmotivated to live though, have you? Considering that you have every reason to want to," Aria explained, a stream of seemingly never-ending thoughts spewing from her.

Spencer, too, was startled by her ongoing ramble, but quickly fought back Aria's accusations. "How could you say that?! I have supported you through_ everything_! For God's sake, you don't know how much I've tried to be here for you, but it's never enough! Nothing is ever enough for you and that's why no one can stand being around you because you make us all unhappy! But here I've been, trying to support your aspirations and the life you want, like fully accepting your relationship with Ezra and helping you keep secrets from your dad!" She spewed out the words, outraged by Aria's negligence to see all the years of friendship that had led to a close bond they shared, even after their lives had taken very different paths.

"Oh, don't act like you've done so much for me!" Aria spat. "You're Spencer Hastings! You'll always be better than me and you'll always know it too. It's the Hastings way—I'm just you're little prodigy that you wanted to claim as your own creation! That's what everyone wants, is to make me into their own and you are no different! You sit here and say that you have tried so hard to be my friend, but in the same breath tell me that no one could stand me being the way I am!" She shook her head slightly, looking down and playing mindlessly with her fingers.

Silence fell upon them, tension amidst them as everything that was said set in and took its toll on the two of them. It seemed to be the loudest silence, with both fighting to find something to say.

Aria finally spoke, a certain sadness in her voice that seemed deeper than any one Spencer had heard before. "I'm gonna go," she said, turning around and quickly making her way down the hall to the door she originally entered in, thrusting it open.

But before she crossed the threshold and closed the door behind her, Aria glanced back at Spencer, who'd followed her at a distance, and said, gesturing her head and eyes toward the picture on the wall. "You can take that down anytime now."

"Aria…" Spencer said, trying to get her best friend to stop from leaving.

But it didn't do anything to make Aria stay because she simply ignored Spencer's small plea. With that, it seemed as if she had stepped out of yet another life.

/

Aria stood in front of apartment 3B, led there by a sudden courage she was even surprised had brought her there. She hesitated to knock on the door, which was sure to trigger a flood of emotions once she was created by Ezra's face. She continued to knock though, seemingly unphased by her anxiety and determined to find some type of _ until the door knob turned and the door slowly opened to expose Ezra.

She tried to speak, but words wouldn't come out—she was overtaken by silence after she'd thought of so many things to say to him. She cleared her throat and managed to say "Ezra" before her voice tailed off.

But past the door, she saw a young woman she believed to be a little older than her—maybe 24 or 25—sitting on Ezra's couch and wrapped in a blanket—the blanket she'd always found herself curled up in. Her face turned red, flooded by embarrassment, anger, and a feeling of betrayal. She shot a harsh glare in Ezra's direction, her face expressing the pain she felt at that moment, seeing another girl in his apartment, on the couch they had had make-out sessions on, and wrapped up in a blanket that she and Ezra had once shared.

She took a deep breath, tension obvious in the heavy breath sounded when being released. She quickly turned on her heels, making her way down the hall, fast in pace and with a purpose, but before she could get far, she felt Ezra's hand on her forearm, tugging her back and turning her in his direction, where she stopped and faced him.

"Aria," he said softly, approaching her slowly.

"What?" she snapped. Her voice was meek and cold, a sort of strain in it as if she was trying to keep away the overwhelming need she had to sob. But tears quickly blurred her vision and she tried to blink away them, but couldn't manage to.

Nothing came from Ezra's mouth. There was no effort to work up a response.

Aria rolled her eyes, turning right back around to leave. But something in her wanted to be heard, wanted to scream at him and yell furiously, slap him and hit him and make him feel some sort of pain.

She spun on her heels, facing him once again. "You know what, Ezra?" she said loudly, with a hint of bitterness laced in her voice.

He remained only a few feet away from her, but both could feel the distance changing them.

She took a deeper breath than she had before, preparing to spill the emotions that had led her to desperately knock on his door. The weight of everything on the verge of escaping made her cheeks feel heavy in the way only keeping back large cries did.

"I'm so sick and tired of how I feel and who I am without you. It's like I can't find it in me to move on. Everything in me wants to hold onto what we used to have, but we can't ever get that back again. We keep chasing it, but we're just fooling ourselves, aren't we?" She didn't wait for an answer—she had to finish before the tears proved too much.

"You and I," she paused, gulping and managing to blink back the start of tears. "…Were…" Tears started to trickle down her cheeks as the painful truth of the next statement revealed itself to her. "…never meant to be because…" There were loud sobs now.

Ezra stood in silence for a short moment before deciding to move closer in an attempt to be able to comfort her.

"No!" she shouted, backing away to maintain the appropriate distance so she didn't feel completely vulnerable. "Let me finish!" Aria took a moment to calm herself, closing her eyes and tightening her face to keep back the tears and work up the strength to finish her thought. "…it never would have been this hard," she said finally, managing to wait until the end to release her bellowing sobs.

"Aria, don't say that," Ezra pleaded.

"What, Ezra?! You don't want to hear the god damn_ truth_?! We_ tricked_ ourselves! Everything we had was a false façade that went to _complete shit_!" she seethed.

"You think all of this was some kind of illusion? God dammit, Aria!" Ezra fought back.

"Yeah, god dammit me! Don't act like just because I said it, I made it true. It was always true, but we were too blind to see it!" Aria shot back.

"So, is that what you came here for?" Ezra asked, obviously hurt.

She was silent for a moment, before softly saying, "No."

Ezra took the chance to speak his own mind, but instead of being agitated, her spoke low and soft. "You really think that all of this was an illusion? Because you can't explain it? Because you don't want it? This isn't an illusion and it's sure as hell far from one."

All Aria did was turn to walk away, unable to explain herself or save the relationship she'd just buried with her words. She cupped her face in one hand, trying to block her tears as she moved down the hallway.

"What has gotten into you?!" Ezra yelled, moving towards her to try to get her to stop from leaving, so he could get a reasonable explanation.

Aria made a sound similar to a chuckle, but their seemed to be a trace of a scoff too. She turned around as she began to answer him. "What's gotten into me? Well, Ezra, I guess I stopped believing in you, in us!"

"That's nothing new," Ezra said. "You always have doubts."

The way he said it made her angry and it seemed to demean her. _Oh, our little Aria is always doubtful. No one can do anything for her in that regard. I just hope she can grow out of it, _she could hear her father say as he would wrap his arm around his pregnant wife in a loving manner and placing his hand on Aria's shoulder, squeezing it as a reminder for her to remain quiet. _Ah_, the perfect façade to make the Montgomery family—and most important, Byron Montgomery—look like a real-treat of a clan.

Remembering this, an unexpected and sudden moment of desperate rage filled her (the desperateness came from wanting to be freed of the little girl that held her back, enraged by the fact that she loved Ezra but he hurt her), she leaped forward at him, pounding her fists on his chest and hitting him. "You _bastard_!" she yelled, spewing a continuous series of words.

But after some moments passed, she stepped back and tears streamed down her cheeks. She spoke in-between her heavy sobs that had begun sometime during the time in which she'd attempted to attack Ezra. The need she felt for answers went beyond any desperate desire she'd felt before and she asked, "W-why aren't you fighting?"

Ezra's reply was simple and didn't hold much emotion. "What do you mean?"

"Wh-when did you stop fighting for us?" she asked again, wording it differently.

Ezra gulped and looked down, avoiding eye contact as he said softly, as if the words wouldn't be as harsh if they were said in a lower tone, "When I realized that there was nothing left to fight for…"

A tense moment.

Silence.

Suffocating.

Heartbreaking.

Ensuing between the two and blanketing them.

Aria searched for something to say, forming her mouth to create words, but didn't know how to begin to speak, with so many words running through her mind and so many things to say. What first?

Tears.

She backed away when he tried to approach her.

"No!" she said, using her hands to keep distance between them while she tried to comprehend the events that had occurred moments before. "You can't do that—don't do that!"

"Aria…" Ezra tried to begin, but couldn't. He just looked down, unable to bring comfort to her.

Through tears, she spoke though. "T-there's nothing left to fight for?"

Ezra hesitated, taking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly while contemplating the answer he would give to her question. "Aria, you and I aren't ever going to get back to how it was. And I know we were doing just fine rekindling our relationship, but I don't want _just fine_. You don't deserve that and neither do I-we both deserve something better than what we can give each other. You aren't happy and neither am I when I'm walking on eggshells. You're not the Aria I fell in love with…" He trailed off.

She was left to think for a moment, then she looked up at him. She whispered, "All of this," she paused. "Because of what I said?" Her voice cracked and she tried to keep away any sign of weakness.

"No, Aria, no, no, no—"

"Oh, how much money did my dad offer you this time?" she scoffed.

"Aria, _stop_. You're not happy, you're not healthy, you're not you and I can't act like I'm okay with that. And you've been like that since we've gotten back together and I can't stay when I'm emotionally exhausted. One minute we're okay, the next minute we're arguing..." he tried to explain.

"That's what we do!" she fought back, trying to resist his doubts about what they had.

"But that's _all_ we do now." Silence for a moment. A painful look appeared on Ezra's face as he said in a low, soft tone, "And that's not love."

Silence was their companion again as the two looked in different directions and remained quiet.

Tension was obviously there, deeply disturbing both of them.

But then, Aria took in a small breath and said softly, in almost a whimper with her voice cracking slightly and a certain weakness evident, "Bye, Ezra."

"Aria…" Ezra wanted her to stay so he could further explain without having her leave on such a bitter note and in sad circumstances.

She tightly clenched her jaw, trying to keep tears from falling, even though they were quickly forming. "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry for loving you?" She paused for a moment. "Well, I guess I am," she said, turning around and quickly walking away from where Ezra stood.

For now, it seemed like forever was a word that teased Aria.

And at that moment, as desperate as she'd ever been, an ending was all she wanted for herself because that was the only thing that truly was "forever."

**BOOM. **

**Can you tell what mood I was in when I was writing this? (I really don't know why, but I've been thinking up much more tragic love stories, which I'm normally so not into because I love a good love story!)  
**

**Not too much to say this time, except for that I'm sorry that I've been kind of a bad momma to my stories lately (*cough* Marlene King *cough) and I'm trying to write and post when I can. Just bare with me please! **

**Love you all! **

**-Halle**


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